


Jealousy

by Katrina_Leann



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Original Characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-08 23:24:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 27,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6879592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katrina_Leann/pseuds/Katrina_Leann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She realized, too late of course, that losing him would hurt. Seeing him with another would be agony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Belle bit her lip hard to keep the tears at bay, breathing deeply through her nose.

"Mama, look! See how neat I colored in the lines? Do you see, mama?"

Belle forced a smile and looked down at her daughter.

"I see, Holland. It's beautiful, sweetheart."

And really, it was. She'd managed to stay in the lines and the color scheme wasn't _too_ far-fetched. Even if the little boy in the picture did have green hair.

"Can I go show papa?"

Belle narrowly covered her sob with a cough, the crushing pain in her chest returning.

And really, she had no right to feel that way. Belle had been the one to end their relationship, the emotional roller coaster too much to handle. She had ended it, not Rumple. He'd reached out for her, and she'd left him, crying and heartbroken. Again.

But that hadn't prepared her for seeing him with someone else.

That had hurt more than any physical blow or emotional torture. Taken every once of physical pain and multiplied it to impossible proportions.

"Mama?" Holland's gentle, questioning voice snapped her out of it. Belle flushed slightly and lifted her daughter up, surprising a small squeal out of the little girl.

"Of course, Holland. You know that I would never keep you away from him, right? Anytime you want to see him, just tell me. If he can't come get you, I'll take you over myself. Okay?"

She tapped her nose playfully and Holland let out a giggle, resting her head against Belle's shoulder.

"Hey Belle, I noticed tha-"

Clay froze, his eyes wide. "I just killed the moment didn't I? Sorry, guys."

Belle chuckled softly and smiled at the flustered man, "It's alright, I was just about to take her across the street anyways."

Clay's face lit up, "To Mr. Golds? I was actually going to head there myself, I could take her. If you wanted."

Belle hesitated, "I wouldn't want to trouble you..."

"Nonsense! I'd be happy to, actually."

He extended his arms in a "gimme" way, wiggling his fingers.

Belle laughed, as did Holland, and handed her over.

"Bye Mama! See you soon!"

Belle waved and blew her a kiss.

She waited a good ten seconds before letting out a quiet cry.

That moment at the town line played in her mind and she let out a bitter laugh through her cries, she'd told him that he'd lost her.

Now she'd lost him.

Even now she could see the moment she'd seen them, hand in hand. The woman, whoever she was, had been laughing so hard that her head was thrown back. She'd playfully bumped her shoulder with Rumple's tapping her forehead against his temple.

She'd leaned in close and that had been all Belle was able to stomach before she had turned and rapidly walked away.

She didn't even know if he'd seen her.

"Hey Belle, you okay?"

Clay's voice broke through the fog of her mind, and she'd given a weak nod.

Too weak, apparently, because his brows had scrunched together and a single eyebrow had raised.

"Try again, maybe you'll convince me this time," Clay offered, leaning against the circulation desk and propping his head on his hand.

"I'm fine, Clay," she insisted, but her voice had betrayed her, cracking over a suppressed sob.

"This is about Gold isn't it?"

Damn.

Was she really that easy to read?

"I don't understand," Clay continued slowly, another frown marring his brow. "I though you two were pretty good friends. I mean, its obviously going to be a wee bit awkward, you know, with your history...but I thought it was better."

And that was the problem. "I don't want to be his friend."

Clay blinked in surprise, almost seeming to reel back for a moment. "Okay, wow. Could've fooled me, Belle. Again, you seemed to be okay around each other."

She let out a dry laugh at that, one filled with pain and anger and hurt. And longing. Lots of longing. "You misunderstood, Clay. I don't want to be his friend. I want to be his _wife_."

Clay's face softened into one of surprise. "A bit screwed there, Belle."

"Yeah."

"Like, really in all honest fact. Washed."

"I got it, Clay."

"Not meaning to make it worse, just... I don't think that'll happen." His voice was gentle, but it didn't take any of the pain away from them.

Rumple had moved on.

That was that, Belle supposed. No little loophole, just the straight truth.

"What am I supposed to say? That I regret it? That losing him hurt, but seeing him with another is agony? Tell me what to say, Clay! Tell me how to make it stop! Just make it not hurt."

Clay seemed to think for a moment, eyes deep with regret. "I wouldn't know, Belle. But you should ask Gold."

She blinked at that, "What?"

"Ask Gold. After all, he had to do it for you. With Will Scarlet."

And then Clay was gone, and after one moment of total numbness, Belle broke down.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm just saying you need to give it a chance, man. You never know."

Rumple sighed softly and shook his head, allowing the curtain of his hair to hide his face.

He loved Belle. Of course he loved her, but that didn't change the fact that he had no security in their relationship.

"What if she gets mad, storms off, and leaves me? Again?" Rumple asked, rather tired of this conversation.

Clay meant well, but digging up his feelings for Belle was painful. They'd finally reached some sort of a friendship, both able to work together without too much awkwardness between them.

He didn't want to lose that.

"But you love her?" Clay asked, helping himself to one of Rumple's fries.

He and Clay had met after one of many disasters that had befallen the town.

The small village in the Enchanted Forest that Rumple had originally been born had long since been burned and resettled, but Clay had been from there too.

Ironically enough, they'd been born around the same time, made friends with the same people, but never met.

Rumple had become the Dark One.

Clay had found the Fountain of Youth.

Rumple could, quite literally, see it. His eyes were unnaturally blue, skin a bit too pale.

Clay looked like he had stepped straight out of a movie: dark hair, blue eyes and a perfect smile.

Too bad he was impossibly stubborn.

"All I'm saying Rumple, is you have to try-"

"I did!" Rumple cut in defensively, "I tried. I was trying, she stopped Clay. Not me."

Clay pondered this a moment, head tilted and brows furrowed. "Look at it from her point of view, Rumple. She's been tricked, used, deceived, mislead, threatened-"

"I've _never_ threatened her!" Rumple hissed, anger flaring at even the thought.

"Then I wasn't referring to you, was I? Chill out, I'm not done. Anyways, she's been through a lot, man. She needs someone."

"She had me," Rumple murmured sadly, pushing his to-go container from Granny's into the trash can next to his desk. "She had me, Clay. But she didn't want me."

"That's changed. She's changed."

"And? I'm in a _relationship_ , Clay. Belle can't just leave and then decide she wants to come back and expect me to be waiting with open arms. I did that once, I waited. I _waited_ and I was just in time to see her fall into Will's arms."

His face was hot and he felt like he was breathing through a straw, but he held his ground.

"She's not with Will anymore."

"But I'm with Lydia, Clay. Not Belle." Rumple blew out a thin stream of air and slumped down into his chair, "Why do you care, anyways?"

"Because you're both being stupid and I'm tired of you not realizing it."

Rumple didn't respond, going back to work.

Clay waited a moment, then sighed quietly. 

"You'll have to face your feelings for her, eventually." Clay said, standing up and stretching.

"Yeah, thanks Clay."

"And Rumple? You can't tell me that you're still not in love with her."

He raised a single eyebrow at that, ignoring the pounding of his heart. He just wanted this conversation to be _over_.

"The entire time we were talking, you were messing with your wedding ring. The one you keep on a chain around your neck."

Clay slipped out the door, but Rumple stood stock still, mouth slightly open in surprise.

"Papa? Mr. Clay left his iPad! I think we should take it to him, he just went in the library!"

That sneaky _bastard_. 


	3. Chapter 3

"I was looking everywhere for this, Holland! I thought I left it at Granny's, thank you!" Clay exclaimed, hugging the little girl tight.

Rumple merely glared, which of course, was met with a wink.

Classic Clay.

"Well," Belle chirped softly, "glad a crisis was stopped. Nothing worse than a missing iPad."

Rumple snickered softly at that and Belle grinned at him, eyes shining. And really, her eyes always seemed to shine.

Whether it was a bright blue when she was reading or a deeper shade, like the ocean, when she was researching.

Rumple shook himself once, blinking and shoving those thoughts out of his mind.

"So Belle, I hear that the library in Boston contacted you about a potential job opportunity," Clay stated casually, and Rumple whipped around to face her, shocked.

"What?" Holland croaked out, eyes wide.

Now Belle glared at Clay, "Easy baby, I'm not taking it. We're not moving."

Holland relaxed a little, but Rumple was so tense he practically vibrated.

"You're not?" Rumple asked, trying to keep his voice level and calm.

Belle shook her head softly, "No. I like it here. As messed up and crazy as it gets, it's home..."

Relief nearly shook him and Rumple sighed out his anxiety. He hadn't been worried, of course. Belle would have allow Holland to visit, or maybe she'd stay-

"Miss Lydia!" Holland shouted in excitement, rushing over.

"Hey, ducky. I missed you!"

Rumple smiled and was just about to walk over and embrace her when he remembered Belle was less than five feet away.

"Lydia, I thought your flight got back at nine, how'd you get here?" Rumple laughed, trying to communicate how very excited he was that she was back with his eyes.

A silent conversation was spoken between them, and understanding bloomed in her deep brown eyes.

He cared for Lydia. Truly and deeply, he did.

But he didn't want to hurt Belle.

And he knew him being in a relationship did hurt her, even if he wasn't sure why. So he kept himself in check.

"Yeah, got an earlier flight, missed the weekly disasters and besides," Lydia trailed off, giving a little shrug, "I missed you."

Clay cleared his throat loudly, "Hate to break up the reunion, but we have plans. Don't we?"

Lydia frowned at that, walking over and standing by Rumple, arm wrapped around his waist, "Can it wait?"

Belle had remained silent, so Rumple chanced a look at her.

She looked broken.

But why? It was what he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs and carve into the bookshelves. All he'd done was what she'd _told_ him to do! He'd backed off, and undeserving as he was, had found someone else.

So why did he feel so bad?

"You three go ahead," he said evenly, "I'll finish up here with Belle and meet you by the docks."

Clay's lips twitched up into a small smile and he gave a mock salute, practically skipping out the door.

Lydia kissed his cheek softy before grabbing Holland's hand, "Don't be too long?"

He shook his head.

With one last parting smile, Lydia slipped out the library door, leaving he and Belle completely alone.


	4. Chapter 4

Belle jammed her eyes shut as the footsteps faded out, breathing shallowly.

He hated her.

He _had_ to! There was no other reason for him to send away someone who obviously meant a great deal to him than for him to tell her to get over it.

Rumple wasn't cruel enough to do something like that in public. But that realization didn't change the fact that Belle didn't want to hear it.

"Belle? We need to talk."

But she didn't move, didn't open her eyes. Couldn't bear to see the contempt and loathing in his eyes.

Eyes that used to hold nothing but love and tenderness.

"Avoiding this won't help, Belle," he sighed out, "It won't help us and it certainly won't help Holland."

Slowly Belle opened her eyes, and Rumple cracked a fragile smile.

"There we go, not too hard?" He asked, his own voice trembling slightly.

Belle wrapped her arms around her stomach and squeezed, as if the sheer force of her strength could keep her from falling apart.

"Talk to me Belle," he murmured softly, lowering himself to sit down in a faded green sofa.

The sight was almost comical. The immaculate Mr. Gold seated on a worn and raggedy old sofa, one that Belle had been meaning to get replaced.

"I won't beg you, Belle. Not again. But I need you to talk to me," he said, slouching back.

Another lash to her heart.

And she hadn't thought it could get anymore painful. She was wrong on that.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Rumple," she finally replied, head hung so he couldn't see the tears in her eyes.

No need to make this worse.

Because he'd want to comfort her. But he wouldn't.

Rumpelstilskin was many things, not all of them good. Some downright terrifying. But a cheater wasn't one of them. Not after Milah.

So she bit her tongue past the point of pain and welcomed the coppery taste of her own blood as it finally dried her eyes.

Well, as dry as they would get.

"Don't do this, Belle. You know why I'm here. Why we have to talk. Pretending won't do anything but make it harder for us."

He sounded so logical, so reasonable that Belle nearly doubled over.

Here she was, barely held together and cracking at the seams. He seemed sad, but not in terrible distress.

Certainly not heartbroken.

Belle's cheeks flushed guiltily. Rumple was happy and she was tearing him down for it.

"Belle..." He sounded genuinely concerned and Belle's heart gave a painful tug even as her stomach gave a happy flip.

She was at war with herself.

"I'm...okay..." Belle replied evenly, leaning against the circulation desk in front of the library.

Rumple gave her that fragile smile again, "No you're not."

"No I'm not," she confirmed quietly.

There was a long silence before Rumple gave a bitter chuckle, "At least we're talking. That's better than nothing, right?"

Belle swallowed harshly, the lump in her throat threatening to choke her. Her eyes were once again wet with tears but she didn't bother to hide then.

"Yeah," she rasped at last, nodding.

Rumple stood and walked over to her, hesitating.

She could see the conflict in his eyes and after a moment of deliberation, he seemed to reach a conclusion.

He hugged her.

It was beautiful and torturous and Belle nearly sobbed when he pulled away after a short moment.

That same smile, but a little more assured, "I'll see you around, Belle."

Then the hinges squeaked and he was gone a second later.


	5. Chapter 5

_"Because it's always the same with us!" Belle practically screamed in fury, her voice full of bitterness and hate._

_Rumple rocked back, holding their baby a little tighter, as if her mother's screaming could actually hurt the sleeping child._

_"Belle, please-" Rumple started lowly, pointlessly keeping his voice lower pitched, as if it would keep Holland asleep._

_"No! I'm done with this Rumple!" Belle seethed, her petite form shaking._

_"Please-"_

_"Get out."_

_"Belle, if we-"_

_"Get. Out."_

Rumple flew up, grabbing his head and taking deep breaths to calm his racing heart.

It hadn't happened like that, Belle being so cruel.

But in his subconscious his traitorous mind bled together the memories of Belle and Milah.

Bae and Holland.

Rumple groaned and rested his head against his knees.

He had just managed to relax when his phone chimed softly.

**Belle:** _Are you awake?_

Rumple stared at the screen for a long moment before he jumped to respond, his mind still reeling from his nightmare.

**Rumple:** _Yeah. Everything okay?_

The seconds between his question and her response were agonizing. When the thirty second mark but he started contemplating popping over there.

By forty-five he had his hand raised and ready to go. Then his phone chimed once again.

**Belle:** _Everything's fine but Holland had a nightmare, says she can't go back to sleep. I offered to read to her but she says that when she gets scared you sing. She wants you to sing._

**Rumple:** _Okay._

Barely a second later he had an incoming video message.

"Hey, Belle. She okay?"

Belle nodded, "A bit shaken, but she'll be fine. Really wants her Papa, though." She paused for a moment, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Sorry to disturb you and Lydia."

Rumple blinked slowly, "It's just me here, Belle."

Her eyes got wide with confusion, head tilted slightly, "Oh. Is she in the kitchen or something?"

"Possibly. But she's also at her house, so I wouldn't know. Powers don't go that far, Belle."

Belle appeared slightly flabbergasted and mumbled a quiet, "Her house..."

But before Rumple had time to ask what she meant by _that_ a small voice off screen chirped, "Papa?"

"Hey, sweetheart. Are you alright?"

Holland's lip wobbled but she gave a slight shrug, eyebrows pinched and face pale.

"Do you want me to sing?" Rumple asked softly, giving his daughter a slight smile.

"Could you come over, Papa? I-I wanna see you for real." Holland asked, focusing hard on the blanket in front of her.

Rumple looked at Belle who instantly nodded her approval, smiling gently.

"Of course, love. I'll be there soon."


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm sure he'll be here soon, darling." Belle assured, for the tenth time that night.

Holland simply let out a soft whimper and burrowed farther under the covers, "It's storming."

Belle made a sympathetic sound in the back of her throat in burrowed in after her, wrapping her daughter in a tight hug.

The fact that it wasn't reciprocated spoke louder than words about how scared Holland was.

What the hell had she dreamed about?

"Mama..." She whined softly, curling farther into herself and Belle was five seconds away from dragging Rumple here herself.

Until she heard the door squeak open.

"I tried knocking..." He murmured as he made his way over to Holland's bed, kneeling by her side.

"Storms too loud." Belle finished, dropping a kiss to Holland's head before untangling herself from the girl.

Holland immediately latched on to Rumple's arm, pulling him up so she could cuddle into his side.

Belle tried not to feel hurt.

Obviously Holland needed her Papa right now, but that didn't stop the sharp pain that shot through her heart when Holland hugged Rumple tight.

"Papa, sing please." Holland near begged as a crack of thunder shook the house.

Rumple kissed her temple and, voice low, began to sing.

Belle slouched against the wall and took a deep breath. Her daughter needed comfort, that was why he was singing.

But she hadn't known he could sing like that. His accent was deeper, more raw. He kept his voice soft and low, his eyes closed as his head rested against the headboard.

Belle turned to make her quiet exit when Holland murmured a pleading, "Mama."

She wiggled her fingers and Belle felt herself moving towards the bed without making the actual decision to.

When she sat down Holland pulled her closer until her and Rumple's shoulders were touching, then nestled herself between her parents, sighing in relief.

Rumple hadn't stopped his quiet singing, but a smile tugged on the corner of his lips and it was all Belle could do not to rest her head on his shoulder.

But it wasn't her place. Not anymore.

So she bit her lip and cuddled close with Holland until she finally dropped back off to sleep.

Rumple's voice slowly faded out and then they sat in silence, the storm outside seeming worlds away.

"That was..." Belle started, then shook her head, "I didn't know you could do that."

Rumple raised a single eyebrow, "Sing?"

Belle nodded.

He seemed to ponder that a moment, "I used to, when I was a boy. The spinsters who raised me would sing to me at night when I couldn't sleep, but sometimes they were away and I had to be able to do it myself."

Belle tried not to let this new information bother her, even as her heart warmed that he shared this with her. "Comfort yourself?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't their fault, they hadn't exactly planned to have a child to look after." Bitterness had crept into his voice and, banishing her earlier worries, Belle rested her head on his shoulder.

He tensed for a moment, then slowly relaxed.

Not for the first time, Belle wished she could go back. Back to when he was hers and before their fight.

Because she loved him.

Worse, she was in love with him and this wasn't fair to Rumple. He saw this as her trying to comfort him, which it was in part.

But it was also her wanting any excuse to touch him.

So she pulled away and slipped out of the bed, padding on silent feet to her living room.

A moment later he followed.

"Belle?" He approached her slowly, as if she was a dangerous animal he was trying not to offend. "Are you okay?"

How was she supposed to answer that? Lying would save what fragile friendship they had maintained. She could say she was fine, the room just a bit crowed, that's all.

She could say she was happy for him, ask what Lydia was like and play nice. The truth would hurt more.

Because that would be saying the three little words that were on the very tip of her tongue every time they were together. That would be shattering this new found understanding that desperately tried to mask the feelings hiding underneath.

That would be finally taking this weight off of her chest and what happened after was entirely up to Rumple.

The truth, then.

"I love you."

For a moment he stood completely still, then he sighed. "It's like you said at the well, a part of you will always love me. Right? It's alright Belle."

Then she had the ridiculous urge to laugh, because this is what they did best. Misunderstandings.

"No Rumple," she took a cautious step closer and he eyed her warily, "No. I'm _in_ love with you."

There it was. What she had been trying to hide for months and months of being friends. Months of small smiles and little waves.

He stumbled a step back and stared, eyes wide and hurt.

That had been about the reaction that she'd expected.

He shook his head forcefully, as if he could make the words fly out of his ears and away from his mind. But it was too late for that, Belle knew.

"I-I can't...this..." He licked his lips and shook his head again, "Why?"

Belle took another careful step forward, "Because I messed up. Because since we broke up I've been nothing but miserable. Because you're _you_ , and I love you."

He looked at her helplessly, then abruptly walked towards the door.

"Rumple? Please, say something." She couldn't read him, not anymore, and it hurt to not know what he was thinking.

"I can't be here right now," he whispered and then a crack of thunder hid the squeaking of the door being opened.

"Rumple, wait!"

He shook his head forcefully, "I can't... I have to..."

And then, for a moment he froze. Just staring, and Belle watched, seeing him for the first time.

His eyes held an emptiness that made her ache and then his walls were back up.

"I have to go."

And then he was gone, the door shutting behind him and her heart leaving with him.

She'd tried. Maybe it really was too late.

The storm outside was a perfect picture to what was going on inside.

Every lightning strike a painful memory, every thunder crack her internal screaming.

So she gave herself tonight.

Tonight she was allowed to be hurt and upset. Tonight she could cry (again) for what they'd once had and lost. Tonight she could mourn for her husband, who was no longer her husband.

But tomorrow she had to be a mother.


	7. Chapter 7

He drove.

His mind carried him away and his white knuckled grip on the wheel kept him from breaking down.

Wouldn't do to crash, especially in a storm like this.

Before he knew it he had pulled up to a house and without pausing to think if this was a really good idea, he walked up and knocked on the door.

The rain was drenching him, little prickles of ice bleeding through his clothes, but he hardly noticed it.

Lydia opened her door and startled at seeing him, soaking wet and shivering.

"Rumple! What are you doing, it's pouring!"

She pulled him inside, heedless of his dripping state, and dragged him into her living room.

For a brief moment she disappeared and when she got back she had a fluffy white towel in her arms.

Slowly she ruffled his hair in it, moving lower as she dried him off.

Rumple merely stood there, unfocused and lost in his thoughts. He should be explaining why he had showed up, drenched on her porch. But his tongue was glued to the roof of his mouth and his brain felt like someone had put a sponge full of ice water in it, so he didn't say a word.

And Lydia didn't ask.

After he was as dry as he would be Lydia gently led him to her couch, softly pushing him down and sitting with her legs over his, head rested on his shoulder.

"D'you wanna talk about it?" She asked after a long silent moment, her fingers playing with the ends of his hair.

"I don't even know what it is," he replied shakily, his fears showing. But he didn't mind. Not with Lydia.

She'd never hurt him.

"It might be easier to start at the beginning," she suggested, her lips pressing briefly to his cool cheek.

He half heartedly leaned into the gesture, mind still unpleasantly slow.

"I'm confused," he said after a while, "I thought I knew what I wanted, I'd gotten so much better..."

"Belle." Lydia guessed, but there was no judgement in her voice, for that he was grateful. If she'd been judgmental he would've immediately stopped talking, but she just smiled at him.

He nodded.

"You've gotten a lot better, Rumple. I promise." She assured him, a little huff of laughter puffing past her lips.

"Then why do I feel so bad?"

She curled her legs up under her, leaning away just enough to look him straight in the eyes, "Because you're confused. You need more time."

His head spun at that. "Time?"

A single finger stroked over his cheek, "To choose."

"I can't... What..."

She shushed him softly, "Not like that. But you need to see what you want, Rumple. And if it's me, I'll be here."

Oh, he really didn't deserve her.

And when he voiced as much Lydia shook her head at him fondly, flicking his nose as she stood up.

"C'mon now, to bed with you. I won't have you driving about in this storm."

Rumple rose slowly and took her hand, "Thank you for this."

Another fond little shake of the head and an adorable smile that made him instantly smile back.

"To bed with you," she repeated, steering him towards the guest room.

"Hey Lydia... I meant it. Thank you."

She stopped then, all playfulness gone from her gaze, just certainty and an emotion somewhere deep behind her brown eyes. "I meant it too, Rumple. Whatever you choose, I'll support."

He frowned a little at that, "But-"

Again she shushed him, a delicate finger against his lips. "Even if it's Belle."

He paused at that. "It's not a competition. And I'm certainly no prize."

Her eyes darkened just a bit at his self deprecation.

Hastily he backtracked, "I mean I don't want it to be a case of you or Belle. What kind of message is that to Holland?"

Another slight peck to his cheek. "You're an incredible father."

Rumple fidgeted under her compliment, his cheeks heating. "Just trying to learn from my mistakes. Be better."

"And you're doing beautifully," she responded, finishing leading him to the guest room and giving him a little shove towards the bed.

"You need rest too, Lydia." He remarked once he'd gotten comfortable under the blankets.

"Mhmm, but I know if I leave before you're actually in the bed you'll find some reason or another to stay up and get no sleep. A bit harder once you're comfortable, yeah?"

Rumple laughed at that, his cheeks heating up again.

She was right, though. This bed was remarkably comfortable. Even if he'd never tell her as much.

"Goodnight, Lydia." He mumbled, scooting farther into the bed and sighing deeply.

"Goodnight, Rumple. Sleep well."

And he'd meant to say it back, wish her a great rest, but all that came out was a sleepy mutter.

As he fell asleep the last thing he heard was her smugly whispered, "Told you."


	8. Chapter 8

Belle shelved the books slowly and emotionlessly. When she was around Holland she couldn't give in to her desire to cry.

To just not be happy mommy Belle.

But with Holland safely at Henry's, being babysat by the young man, Belle could show as much pain as she wanted to.

After all, the library was completely empty.

Just as she had moved to the last shelf the door opened with a merry little ring that made her scowl. Then she remembered that they'd _closed_. That's why it so desolated.

Could no one in this town read?

"Sorry, sorry. I know you're closed but-" Clay trailed off at the state of her.

Suddenly this was very familiar.

"Belle? You okay?"

No. She was most definitely not okay.

"You were right, Clay." She responded quietly, resuming putting away the books.

She needed to do something.

"About what?" He asked gently, helping her.

"It being too late." She rasped out through her tears.

Clay froze at that, "What happened."

Belle didn't answer for a long time, focusing on shelving. She could feel Clay watching her intently, waiting for her answer.

Let him wait.

Her plan worked for two more books before he took the third out of her hand and held it over his head.

"Clay," she whined, very aware she sounded like a child.

"Belle, what happened?" He asked slowly, as if she hadn't understood the first time he asked the question.

"I tried. It didn't work."

He cocked his head, eyebrows pinching together. "But you tried... Then why..."

Belle froze uncomfortably, "You said it wouldn't work. You knew it, why are you so surprised?"

He looked at her then, smiling a little. "That's why I said it."

Belle glared, in no mood for riddles. Right now she wanted to finish her work here and drown her sorrows in a bottle of wine.

Instead she was playing the guessing game.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Belle, you and Gold have been dancing around each other for years now. What changed that made you snap?"

Belle shook her head, unsure where this was going.

Clay sighed, "Someone told you it was too late. That's what changed, Belle."

Belle blinked at him in disbelief. "You planned for that to happen?"

"I planned for you to do something about it. I don't know what happened because you haven't told me."

"He left."

Clay seemed to falter a moment, "What?"

"He left. I told him I loved him and he left." There, now maybe he would let her be miserable in peace.

"He left?" Clay repeated, his voice dark with an emotion that made Belle pause.

Clay was bouncy and movement and a whirlwind of activity. He was loud and obnoxious and sarcastic.

Clay was not still.

Yet he stood like a statue, as if the sun had been sucked out of his world and he was alone in a sea of darkness.

As if he'd lost his only source of hope.

Belle touched his arm, intending to comfort, even as her mind screamed the ridiculousness of the situation.

She was the one who'd lost her true love.

"Why do you care so much Clay?" Because she had to know. Had to know why it looked like Clay's heart had just broken and not hers.

"What can I say, I'm a fan of true love." And then, he walked out without a backwards glance, the book he'd held set down on the cart.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay messes up.

"You left?!"

Rumple looked up in shock at the snarl that had come from Clay as he burst into his shop.

"Excuse me?" He sputtered in disbelief.

Clay stopped right in front of him, barely a breath away. "Belle. You left her? After she told you how she felt?"

That made Rumple freeze up and his heart start to race. "Wait, you talk to her?"

Clay seemed to pause for a moment, his hurricane of anger now just gentle wisps. "No. Well, yes. But I never tell her anything you say."

"But you just told me something that she said, so it's not the other way around?" Rumple questioned, and Clay blinked.

"This is different." He finally responded.

"How so?"

"Because now you're being stupid. Not Belle," Clay practically growled, and what the hell? This wasn't like him.

"Clay what's wrong with you?"

He slammed his fist down on the wooden part of Rumple's display case and released a noisy breath. "There is nothing wrong with me. Now why are you being stupid?"

"Watch it Clay," Rumple warned lowly, his eyes darkening dangerously.

Slowly Rumple went back around his front desk, putting space between he and Clay in an attempt to lower the tension.

Clay looked at him in exasperation, "I'm sorry, I just...I'm running out of time."

"What?" Rumple blinked, that not being the response he'd been expecting. "What do you mean you're running out of time?"

Clay took a step back, then forward, seeming unsure whether he wanted to answer or leave. Then he exhaled shakily and ran a hand through his hair, "I'm not from here."

Rumple frowned, "No one is, Clay. The curse tore people from all realms."

"No, I mean," Clay sighed and shook his head slowly, as if he was trying to talk himself out of something. "I'm not from _here_."

"Then where are you from?" Rumple questioned, his eyes narrowed.

A beat. A breath. And then, "The future."

Rumple laughed darkly, "Really, Clay? You got that far and that's the best you could come up with?"

Clay scowled, "You don't believe me."

"I thought that was rather obvious. Now you want to tell me what's really going on?"

"Is it so unbelievable? I mean, it is Storybrooke." Clay reasoned, making Rumple stop.

He looked so serious, so not _Clay_ , that it unnerved him.

"Clay, I've known you for years, if you're from the future, why not tell me?"

Clay scoffed at that, a sarcastic smile playing at his lips. There was the Clay he knew. "And what? Be bluntly obvious about it?"

"Well, yes."

Clay shook his head and mumbled, "You don't get it."

Now Rumple was _getting_ irritated. "Get what?"

"I'm from the future, this future. Future Storybrooke. If I'd have told you that you never would've let me get so close."

Rumple swallowed thickly, he had a point. "So what? You need help getting home?"

Clay shook his head, "I can't yet. Still have stuff to finish."

"How'd you get here?" Rumple asked, resisting the urge to demand Clay tell him everything so he could fix it himself. No need to screw up anything else in this town.

"You, actually. But by accident."

Rumple sighed, "And why would I have anything to do with this?"

Clay smiled slightly, but it wasn't a nice smile. It was an angry and bitter thing. "Because they were threatening Belle."

That threw Rumple for a loop. "Who?"

And for the first time, Clay hesitated. "I don't know if I-"

Rumple took a threatening step forward, "If someone is after Belle, then they might chase her here. If you refuse to tell me and something happens to Belle, I'll hold you just as responsible as the idiots who try and harm her."

Clay gave a nervous grin. "You care about her that much?"

Rumple didn't even blink, "Who, Clay?"

"They weren't truly after Belle-"

Rumple cut him off, "I don't care! They threatened her-"

"Because they were trying to get to you!" Clay shouted, making Rumple pause. "They were trying to lure you out."

"Who is 'they', Clay?" Rumple asked, his voice deadly cool and calm.

"It's not about them anymore! It's about the future, it's been changed." Clay stressed, his voice strained.

"How?" Rumple asked, gripping his wooden display tightly and clenching his teeth.

"For starters? You and Lydia were never meant to be together."

Now Rumple did snarl at him, rounding the case and pining him with an angry gaze. "You tell me Belle is possibly in danger and then bring up my relationship with Lydia? Is your disapproval of her so great that- "

"You're not listening! Mom was already okay by then!" Clay shouted.

Rumple froze, his blood roaring and heart hammering. Because he had been listening.

And he'd heard exactly what Clay had said, down to the three lettered word.

Mom. 


	10. Chapter 10

Rumple felt ill, and really dizzy. Slowly he pushed his way off of the display case and collapsed onto the cot in the back.

That seemed to startle Clay out of his adrenaline fueled rant.

"Rumple? You okay?" He asked, lowering himself to one knee and how hadn't Rumple noticed?

In all of his _very_ long life, he'd never seen someone with eyes as blue as Belle's. Except Clay.

And his "Fountain of Youth" story, had Rumple so easily bought it? Clay was his son.

Clay was _his son_.

His already turning stomach gave a violent lurch and Rumple moaned, resting his head against the wall. "Mom?" He questioned softly.

The transformation on Clay's face would've been very amusing had Rumple not been feeling so ill.

First confusion, then a building sense of panic as he re-went over the words he'd spoken and realized his error.

Clay's head snapped to his and his mouth was open just and bit. "I meant Holland's mom."

"You've always called her Belle, Clay." Rumple argued, his brain slowly clearing from his realization that Clay was his son.

Sarcastic, smart-mouthed, and kind. That was Clay.

And also apparently his child?

Rumple moaned again and pushed those thoughts away. His brain felt like mush and he wasn't sure if this reaction was all his shock or The Dark Ones shock.

After all, trusting wasn't an easy feat for them. Yet they had trusted Clay. Now Rumple was starting to understand why.

"I-I wanted to make it more personal. Shows she's not just Belle, but also Holland's mom."

Rumple could feel the desperation flowing off of Clay, as well as a keen sense of panic. "That's how you knew about Elliot and Jason. I told you, didn't I?"

Elliot and Jason had been two of Rumple's best friends growing up. There were a few others, but those two had become like brothers to him.

Clay seemed to give up his flimsy excuse, lowering that tattered and broken shield with a sigh of defeat. "Yeah. Holland asked about how you grew up and you talked about them a lot."

"And you two were how old?"

"Holland had just turned eleven. I was six." Clay whispered with his eyes closed, sitting down in a chair and shaking his head slowly.

"Clay?"

"I'm so stupid. I haven't told you for _years_ , but one heated conversation and suddenly I'm Snow White?" Clay growled and Rumple suppressed a laugh.

Had Clay inherited his distain for the Charmings or was that bitter tone all based on personal experience?

"Why did you come here, Clay? What happened exactly?" Rumple asked, leaning forward and schooling his face into what he hoped was a reassuring expression.

Clay gave a humorless laugh. "Well I've already screwed up by telling you period, right? But I guess the devils in the details, yeah?"

Rumple gave a solemn nod, but inside he was laughing. Clay may have initially tried to backpedal his way out, but now? Now he looked relieved to have it off of his chest.

"Wait," Rumple piped up suddenly, causing Clay to raise his eyebrows. "We need to tell Belle."

Clay grimaced. "You sure we can't just keep it a secret and, I dunno, not tell her?"

Rumple allowed a little grin to break through at that. "If you'd had asked me that, as a father, not a friend, what would I have said?"

Clay twitched his nose. "Go ask your mother."

"And what would Belle have said?"

Clay grinned, a soft chuckle escaping. "Nothing. She would've just kicked my ass."

Rumple startled at that, "Wait, what?"

Clay nodded in complete seriousness. "Oh, definitely. Out of you two, she's scariest. Hands down."

"But I'm the _Dark One_."

Clay looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. "Yeah? And she's Belle."

Rumple frowned, "Well, regardless of who you perceive scarier, you have your answer. Yes, we have to tell Belle."

All Rumple could do was hope she'd take it better than he had.


	11. Chapter 11

Rumple and Clay had just stepped outside when Emma and the rest of the Charming crew ran towards him, breathless and panting.

"Gold! We need your help!"

Clay snorted in dark amusement. "What's new?"

Emma gave him an icy glance before refocusing her attention on Rumple. "Did you see that cloud of black smoke?"

"No Ms. Swan, I can assure you I saw no such thing. Now if you'll excuse me, I have my own business to attend to." Rumple attempted to push past her, only to have Charming block his way.

"You don't understand. Henry says he saw _people_ in that cloud of black smoke. He said it looked like they were wearing masks, but they disappeared before he could really get a good look."

Instantly Rumple felt panic begin to creep up his spine, "Holland?"

"Is fine," Snow White assured, "but that doesn't change the fact that we don't know what it was and we're worried. Nothing good ever comes from these type of situations."

Rumple glanced at Clay, who had been uncharacteristically quiet since the exchange began.

"Clay?"

"What exactly did Henry see? How many?"

Emma frowned briefly at him, a silent question in her green eyes. "Six. For sure six, but, uh..."

"Emma?" Charming questioned softly and that seemed to snap her out of it.

"Henry also said that they moved through the shadows, like they were apart of it."

"Like a separated shadow?" Snow offered, but Emma shook her head.

"I don't think so. More like they _were_ shadows, but he only got a glimpse of them."

The slightly panicked look in Clay's eyes made Rumple's stomach knot up. "Go back to Granny's. I'll research about this and get back to you when I know what they are, if they're anything at all."

Emma opened her mouth to protest, eyebrows drawn low over her eyes.

"You want my help, Ms. Swan?" Rumple waited a moment, making eye contact with everyone before him. "You want my help, you play by my rules."

Snow and Charming exchanged a brief nod before they led the others away, Emma giving one last glance before she too went back to Granny's.

"It's them," Clay quietly confirmed, pain lacing his voice.

Rumple held open, a quiet command to join him back in his shop.

Clay obeyed and Rumple followed, a quick spell making sure the door locked and stayed locked, flipping the sign to closed.

"Tell me everything." Rumple commanded once they'd make their way into his backroom, seated across from each other.

"They're called Shadowbenders, there's usually seven of them, but the leader might've stayed in my time."

Rumple ran a hand through his hair, "They followed you? Why?"

Clay shrugged, an almost uncaring gesture - except for the way he was shaking like a leave. "I'm not sure. But it is a rather odd time for a coincidence this big to occur."

There was a loud knocking on the shop door, followed by a questioning, "Rumple? You in there?"

_Lydia_ , Clay mouthed and Rumple nodded.

"Go check on Belle please," Rumple asked as he moved back towards the front.

"Yeah, sure. What are you going to tell Lydia?"

Rumple sighed. "I'm not sure, Clay."

Quickly he disengaged the spell, opened the door as Clay slipped out and began a quick jog to the library.

"Hey, Lydia. Everything alright?"

With a tight smile that seemed way too forced, she gently pushed past him and inside his shop. "We need to talk."


	12. Chapter 12

In all of Rumple's very long life, that particular string of words had never meant anything other than terrible news.

"Rumple?" Lydia murmured softly, reaching out to stroke a hand over his cheek - then slapping it back down to her side before she actually touched him.

"Are you okay? What happened?" He tried to keep his voice calm but panic had crept in, making it just a tad higher than normal.

Her face suddenly lit up with realization, a nervous smile breaking out. "Oh no, nothing like that - I've just been thinking."

Rumple cleared his throat, "Good things?"

Another fragile little smile that made his heart hurt. "When you're with me, are you really with me?"

"Huh?"

Now another smile, a little less strained. "I don't want you to end up resenting me."

Rumple frowned, "What do you mean? I don't resent you, I could never."

"Belle is your True Love-"

"Lydia-" he tried to cut in but she shook her head.

"No. I've thought a lot about this, let me finish," Lydia gave him a quick warning glance. "I know that you care about me, but I also know that you care about her. When you're with me, I don't want you to be thinking about what could've been with her. And despite what you may think about yourself, you're very sweet. Too sweet to say anything because you are afraid you'd hurt me."

"I-I..."

"Don't, it's okay," she took a deep breath, followed by a quick exhale. "Now... What's happening? Clay looked pretty serious just now."

"Shadowbenders. Followed Clay from his time-"

"Wait," Lydia interrupted, eyes trained on him. " _Clay's time_?"

Rumple gave a little smile at that. "Yeah. He's from the future and-"

"The _future_?!"

"Future Storybrooke, to be exact. And I've been trying to think of where I've heard of them but I can't seem to remember, like a..."

"Memory block." Lydia finished, then perked up. "Hey! I have a book at my apartment that might help."

Rumple looked at her in disbelief. "Seriously?"

Lydia gave a sheepish smile. "Yeah, I'll meet you at Granny's. Lunch?"

Rumple nodded, then hesitated. "Lydia, did we just break up?"

"Yeah, we did."

"Oh," Rumple scratched his head. "Forever?"

Again with her fragile smile, the one that sent a sharp pang through his heart. "Until you are one hundred percent sure that you want to be with me. Or her. When there's not a single doubt."

Rumple gave her a grateful nod, feeling the pressure lift from his chest. "Granny's?"

Now she gave him a real smile, one that lit up her face and made her eyes sparkle."Oh yeah. And we may not be together anymore, but you're still paying."

He laughed at that as she winked, slipping out the door.

He was so relived in fact, that he was distracted. Distracted enough that he didn't see the flickering shadow swallow Lydia, dragging her into darkness before she could make a sound.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for non-graphic torture.

The first thing that registered in the back of her mind was the fact that she was tied up.

And damn, whoever did this wasn't playing, those knots were tight.

Slowly Lydia cracked open a single eye, looking around her surroundings with an increasing sense of dread.

There were no doors or windows, which meant no easy escape. She'd have to break through the ropes first, of course, but she had nowhere to run.

"Ah, you're awake. Good, good."

Caught, Lydia turned - a difficult feat considering her neck was strapped down to the table - and glared.

"No need to be hostile, darling. I promise it will make what's to come even worse."

_What's to come?_

"Oh yes, you didn't think we'd just take you for fun, did you?" He bent closer then, his breath fanning her face. "Tsk. I'm afraid you did - well rest assured. You're very important to us, Belle."

"Belle?" She blurted before she could stop herself, then bit her tongue before she could say anything else.

"It is your name, no? Preferred to be called something else?"

Lydia didn't respond, biting her cheek until she tasted blood.

"Tell me, darling - do you know what the Song of the Siren is?"

Still she said nothing, glaring at him in pure defiance.

It didn't seem to affect him as he continued to speak. "The screams of your True Love. How do you think he was able to sense when you were in danger, hm? He could feel it." He walked closer and bent lower, a wild look in his eyes. "Your screams will lead him right to us, then... We have a deal to make."

Lydia found her voice. "Why not just request a deal? Why go through all this trouble?"

He laughed, an ugly and twisted sound. "And have no leveraging chip? Not to mention no fun."

She was stuck.

If she told them she wasn't Belle, then they'd track down the real Belle, putting Rumple in danger. If she accepted her role, then the foreseeable future was going to be excruciating... but Rumple would be safe.

She just couldn't scream.

Finally she met her captures eyes with a smirk - a smirk filled with confidence that she wasn't feeling.

"You won't break me."

All she could do was hope that it was true as he grabbed a knife and traced it down her stomach.


	14. Chapter 14

She wasn't here.

Once again Rumple checked his watch as the minute hand flicked to the number six, indicating it was thirty minutes past the time they'd agreed to meet for lunch.

With a sigh he threw down enough money to pay for the iced tea that he'd ordered and slipped out the busy diner. She hadn't showed.

It would've been easy to say that she'd been toying with his emotions, making things seem so familiar and level for them after she'd broken up with him. This was just her showing her true colors.

But it wasn't.

And Rumple knew that, those thoughts were the darkness - looking for the worst in every person and after months and months, finally seeing a slip in Lydia. He pulled out his cell, quickly dialing her number.

Straight to voicemail.

Something wasn't right, like a buzzing in the back of his mind that got louder every time he tried to push it away.

Lydia would never have stood him up, never left him dangling by a thin string that she herself had woven with her assurances of trust and respect. Of friendship.

Something was wrong.

And with that thought came the a sudden clarity that made him instantly alter his course and head for the library, his brain immediately headed for a source of information and someone he knew would help.

Belle.

No matter what she felt for Lydia - or him - she'd never let her remain missing, especially when Rumple was absolutely certain something had happened.

When the door opened with a little ring, Belle had looked up from where she'd been dusting, surprised.

"Rumple, how can I help you?"

Part of him reminded himself to be gentle with his words, not wanting to hurt Belle at the same time he was trying to find Lydia. "I need your help."

Belle walked over as soon as the last word left his lips, blue eyes calm and her presence calming him.

He really didn't want to try and figure out what that meant.

"Anything," Belle promised.

"It's Lydia, I... She..."

She what? Not for the first time, the thought that she'd just leave him crossed his mind - sharper and Rumple stumbled back with the force of it.

_Fool! Don't you know that everyone leaves you? What made you think this would be any different... Lydia is gone, she was never here to start with. Just a figment of your pathetically lonely imagina-_

"Don't listen to them, Rumple. Look at me."

Of course Belle'd known, and forcing himself to look into her eyes, swirling with blues of every shade helped shut up the darkness, it's voices once again fading to a silent murmur.

"Thank you," he whispered, taking a moment to collect himself and his thoughts. "Lydia is missing, we agreed to meet at Granny's after we broke up and she was helping me..."

His voice trailed off as he realized that he'd never actually told Belle about Clay and the future, as he'd been too busy trying to protect her from these Shadowbenders.

"Helping you?" Belle questioned softly, a silent request for him to elaborate. If she was surprised or fazed over the news of their breakup, she didn't show it.

"I might have a block on my memories of the Shadowbenders, they're from the future. So is Clay."

Maybe not the absolute best lead up as Belle blinked rapidly and shook her head a little. Then stopped, her facial expression changing into one of puzzlement.

"Wait - how well do you know Clay?"

And with their current situation the question was so ridiculous that Rumple felt the urge to laugh. "Pretty well."

Rumple let her ponder that for a moment as he forced himself to think.

She'd been going to her place, but which one?

There was her apartment with all of her storage and most of her little treasures, and then her actual house.

So which place?

With grim determination, Rumple started slowly walking towards the library's door, "I think something might've happened on her way home."

Belle quickly followed behind him, nodding her head.

Using a bit of magic once they'd made it to the sidewalk, Rumple searched for any trace of Lydia.

Suddenly he was hit with sheer darkness, making black spots dance behind his eyes and Rumple fell backwards.

Instantly Belle caught him, an arm around his middle and his waist.

"Rumple, what happened? Are you okay?"

Breathing slowly he managed a nod, "Yeah. Whatever happened - it happened here."

Between the darkness inside of him and the darkness right in front of him, Rumple felt like he was being suffocated.

Desperate for air he wanted to try and claw at his throat, but he couldn't move.

"Rumple?" Belle walked in front of him, breaking whatever connection he'd had to... whatever that had been.

Try to answer one question, get ten more instead.

"I'm not sure what happened, Belle. I don't..."

The merging darkness again, roaring over Belle and demanding Rumple's submission. His own darkness was weaker - _infinitely_ weaker - as Holland and Lydia and Belle had flooded him with love, the light had expanded within him...

Now that was going to kill him.

Already his curse was submitting to the far greater darkness flowing from seemingly nothing.

"Rumple?!" Belle's voice sounded warped and far away. He couldn't respond, or breath or-

And then Belle kissed him. Hard.

Light once again flooded his system, making him pull away to cough.

"True Love's Kiss," she explained softly, her fingers moving to cover her lips.

Rumple nodded weakly, once again focusing on the abundance of darkness, a clear mental image of Lydia being drug into this spot and vanishing exploded behind his eyelids, making him stagger.

He felt emotionally drained, and Belle still had a soft look of both wonder and regret as her fingers skimmed her lips.

True Love's Kiss.

What the hell was he going to do now?


	15. Chapter 15

Clay sighed as a knock on his door woke him up.

Already he was feeling dizzy and drained, his mind unpleasantly jumbled and slow. He was running out of time.

Quickly he opened the door to reveal Henry - with a sleeping Holland snoring quietly on his shoulder.

"Whoa, Clay... You look like crap."

Clay attempted a laugh as Henry raised his eyebrows and brought the back of his hand to Clay's forehead. "I'm fine, Henry."

"You're burning up, Clay."

"Cold due to cough," to further push his point he coughed into his elbow, the action actually making his chest spark in pain. "See? No big deal."

Henry still looked skeptical but shifted the unconscious little girl into Clay's arms. "I've been trying to get ahold of Grandpa and Belle but neither are answering their phones."

Clay waved off his worry. "They're probably having lunch and turned them off to be undisturbed."

Henry raised his brows in surprise. "What? They're doing lunches now?"

Clay shrugged, then winced as Holland moaned softly and shifted more into his shoulder, "They're trying, I think. Not to fix them but to be better together - for her."

Henry nodded, "And maybe that will end up fixing them."

"Maybe."

Clay knew Henry would probably rather have a discussion on it - weigh the choices and talk for hours - but Clay was starting to feel dizzy and holding Holland was giving him a grounding point. But that would only last so long.

"You got plans?" Clay rasped, trying to subtly lean against the doorframe.

Then he was treated to an interesting sight as Henry's face slowing reddened, an embarrassed smile curving at his lips. "Yeah, actually. I'm taking Violet to this show in New York, then a fancy dinner and I was thinking about..."

Henry cut himself off and slowly pulled a little black velvet box out of his pocket.

"You're _proposing?!_ " Clay exclaimed in a harsh whisper, and that made Henry blush even harder.

"It's a bad idea, isn't it? Oh I knew it," he slipped the ring back in his pocket, shaking his head. "I just thought that-"

"No!" Clay yelped, and then instantly regretted it as his head started to throb. "No, it's a bloody perfect idea, Henry."

At that his dark expression cleared, slowly morphing into one of hope. "Yeah?"

Ignoring his throbbing head Clay gave a strong nod.

"I was thinking of maybe having it tied on the roses I'm going to give her, or maybe I'll just take her walking through New York at night. We'll stop somewhere beautiful and I'll just - ask."

Clay grinned and ushered him away, "Go find your girl, Henry. I'll make sure that no one tries to call or text either of you this evening."

With a huge smile Henry practically raced outside and Clay took a deep breath as he shut the door.

Slowly he deposited Holland on the couch as stumbled into his bathroom, clutching at the wall to stay upright.

Then he did the thing he'd been dreading. Clay lifted his shirt.

At the very base of his stomach his skin appeared pale and sweaty, if looked close enough - the doorframe was visible, through him.

He was disappearing.

And while at first the idea of getting his parents together so that they would _get_ together made Clay slightly ill, now he wanted to lock them in a room and blast romance music until something happened.

Clay turned on the faucet with shaking hands and ducked his head under.

He was still here - weak and quickly running out of time - but still here.


	16. Chapter 16

She wasn't sorry that she'd done it.

Belle could see the voices calling out to him, drowning out all sound and demanding Rumple bend to their will. She could also see him fighting back, but he'd gotten so much better - the darkness had tried to smother his light.

And there was no way that Belle was going to let that happen.

So she'd kissed him, if nothing else the kiss might've surprised him enough to shock him and throw the darkness for a loop, unfortunately the universe wasn't that kind.

No, it had to be True Love's Kiss. A kiss that meant they shared the truest and purest form of love imaginable. But it still couldn't fix what she'd broken. What _they'd_ broken.

Thus their current predicament.

"I think that if we can reopen this portal, it should take us to where they have Lydia."

Belle nodded along, her lips still tingling from the light magic she'd had coursing through her system.

Rumple turned and looked at her, "I know that we just..." He cut off quickly, taking a shaky breath and exhaling slowly. "That doesn't change anything, Belle. I'm sorry if that hurts you, because I don't want to, but it doesn't change anything. Not right now."

"I think about it all the time, Rumple. That night." Belle hardly recognized her own voice, filled with guilt and longing.

He froze, staring at her in silence. His deep brown eyes held so many questions and heartaches, and all Belle had wanted to do was take away all the pain.

Instead she'd become the reason for most of it.

"I shouldn't have stormed out like that, I promised you I wouldn't anymore - and then I did."

He took a long time to answer, his mouth opening as if he were going to speak, and then closing as he released a breath. "You had your reasons."

Belle shook her head. She may have had reasons, but they'd been stupid and immature. And they certainly hadn't been worth losing him for. "No, it was unfair of me to try and control you with that. I'm sorry."

Rumple gave a brisk nod, signaling the end of that conversation. "We should focus on finding Lydia, there will be time for everything else later."

Belle nodded once again, biting her lip hard and focusing on what he was saying.

With a wave of his hand the portal reformed. He still had magic?

Belle decided to let that go and ask him about it later, instead focusing on the portal.

It...wasn't what Belle had expected.

Instead of choking black darkness, there were warm, swirling colors. It was pure and beautiful, almost tempting.

"Belle," Rumple's concerned voice broke her out of her happy trance. "Belle, I need you to focus. We have to save Lydia."

"From the lights?" Belle questioned, barely resisting the urge to dip her fingers into the swirling colors.

"From the _Shadowbenders_ ," Rumple said painfully, his arm reaching out as if he wanted to pull her away from the beautiful vortex.

Belle laughed. The Shadowbenders weren't _evil_ , they couldn't be! Nothing evil could produce this much beauty.

"Belle..." Rumple's voice was laced with desperation and that made Belle frustrated. All she wanted to do was look at the lights and colors.

"'S beautiful..." She whispered, leaning closer towards the portal.

"Belle! Stop!"

But she didn't _want_ to, couldn't Rumple see that? Didn't he see how _beautiful_ it was?

"Sweetheart, please," and that made her turn, when was the last time he'd called her sweetheart? "That's it, Belle. You're doing great, love. Walk towards me."

The portal behind her seemed to start humming, a deep sound that made Belle's body tingle with the need to look. Just one little look then she'd go to Rumple.

"Almost done, beautiful. Just a few steps."

Cautiously Belle took a step closer, encouraged by Rumple's smile and outstretched hand. The humming grew quieter, making Belle feel strangely empty.

"One more step, love. Take my hand."

She did as she was bade, gasping the moment their skin touched.

Quickly she turned to look at the portal - or what should've been a portal. Instead it was as if the ground had split, and if Rumple hadn't stopped her, she would've most certainly fallen to her death.

"I-I don't understand..." She mumbled against his chest, clinging tightly.

"It was an illusion, intending to harm. Most can't get out of the trap." He whispered against her hair.

"But I did? How?" Why had she succeeded when others failed?

"By listening to my voice." He spoke quietly, and she barely heard his whispered, "By trusting me."

She wanted to say something meaningful at that, reassure him - but she couldn't.

Instead she whispered, "Of course I do." And left it at that.

He cleared his throat and gently pushed her away, "I'm sor-"

She shook her head to cut him off, "Don't. It's alright. So how do we get the portal open?"

He waved his hand again and the split disappeared, a black circle taking its place.

No movement or color, just a black hole in the ground.

"By surviving the first part," he gave her a little smile, extending a hand. "Ready?"

With a firm nod she laced their fingers together, ignoring the sharp pang in her heart. "Ready."

Together they jumped into the darkness, the portal engulfing them in a sea of black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT - 4/21: 
> 
> A last minute family situation has occurred and I will be unable to update for a while. Thank you for waiting.


	17. Chapter 17

Rumple barely had the mind to make sure Belle was steady before he sped down the black hallway, senses on override.   
  
A few halls down he could hear a dark laugh, followed by, "Come on. You know how to make it stop, Belle. Scream."   
  
Beside him, Belle froze.   
  
When she made eye contact with him, Rumple shrugged.   
  
"Go to hell." A voice he knew very well said in response.   
  
_Lydia_.   
  
Rumple snarled and burst into the room, his rage tinting the edges of his vision a deep red. Blood red.   
  
"What the h-"   
  
That was as far as the man got before a wave of Rumple's hand turned him into a snail.   
  
"Lydia," he murmured softly, going to kneel by her side.   
  
She gave a pained laugh, "Took you long enough."   
  
He wanted to respond, maybe make a quip back, but he couldn't. Lydia looked as if she'd been in a war.   
  
Her eyes were creased tight with pain, blood staining the floor he was currently kneeling on. Her blood.   
  
"Oh Lydia..."   
  
She gave a weak smile, "'S not tha bad." Her words slurred slightly and that did nothing to help Rumple's current state.   
  
"They called you Belle," Belle said from behind him, her voice soft, as if she was wary of startling her. Considering that Lydia had most likely just been tortured, it was rather too late. Still a kind gesture.   
  
"Oh yeah," Lydia tried to laugh again, but it turned into a pained grunt. "They thought I was you."   
  
Belle blinked once, slowly. Her mouth popped open like she wanted to say something but then closed so fast her teeth clicked. "And you didn't tell them? Send them after me?"   
  
Rumple looked at her, hardly breathing as he too awaited her response.   
  
His magic had been past unpredictable - it had been dangerous. Now however, he was calmer. So he gently took Lydia's hand, healing her.   
  
"Why would I? It'd hurt both you and Rumple, not to mention what'd happen to Holland because of it."   
  
Her words were clearer and he felt her squeeze his hand in thanks.   
  
Belle was looking at her in slight disbelief, mouth open just a little. "I - you..."   
  
Lydia offered her a little smile, "Rumple cares about you. And I care about him. I didn't want either of you hurt."   
  
Rumple looked between the two of them, a small smile forming on his lips. There was a certain understanding radiating between them, shattering the tense awkwardness that had always clung in the air.   
  
The icy wall had melted, a bridge formed. There was still a lot to deal with, but Rumple felt like he could actually breathe , no longer anticipating the explosion.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having some family stuff going on so I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again. Thank you for your patience.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for implied/past torture.

Belle didn't know what to think.  
  
She'd never hated Lydia, but a part of her had strongly resented her. She knew it was irrational, of course. She had been the one to push Rumple away. Again.  
  
But she wanted him back, with every fibre of her being she wanted him back. But she also wanted him happy. For the longest time, she'd thought those two things were not achievable together.  
  
And now she had hope. Small and flickering as it was, she had hope. Confusion was another thing she had.  
  
Lydia had known that these people had thought she was - well, her. So why Lydia hadn't immediately corrected their mistake in her identity and sent them after her was something that she didn't understand.  
  
It also made her feel incredibly guilty.  
  
Belle bit her lip hard, dragging herself out of her thoughts. She'd have time to evaluate and sort her thoughts later, right now there was more important tasks to complete.  
  
"Are you okay, Lydia?" Belle winced when Lydia turned to face her sharply, surprise written clearly across her face. She'd only wanted to be helpful.  
  
Maybe it was too soon.  
  
"Um, yeah? I think so, anyway. Not entirely sure at the moment but I'll get back to you."  
  
Belle smiled at her, hoping it was reassuring, "If you need anything, just tell me."  
  
Rumple had said that it'd be best if they waited here, Lydia needing time to make sure she was completely healed.  
  
"Thanks," then she bit her lip, looking conflicted. Before Belle had time to ask what was on her mind Lydia murmured, "I don't want you to feel like you owe me. You don't. At all."  
  
That wasn't true.  
  
Whether Lydia had done it for Rumple or both of them, it didn't change the facts. Lydia had been tortured... only she wasn't supposed to have been. They'd thought they were torturing Belle.  
  
Lydia hadn't said anything to dispute that. She'd taken the fall and the beating. All without screaming.  
  
Belle shuddered at that.  
  
Despite how long it had been, Belle still had nightmares of Regina's guards and their whips. Of their taunting and her own hoarse screams.  
  
Sometimes, she could still feel the rawness of her throat, a sharp pain that shot through her and left her breathless and numb. But Lydia...  
  
To have that much willpower and determination - succeeding against every odd left Belle feeling in awe. That was exactly the kind of person Belle wanted in her life, one that pushed past their own mind and saw the bigger picture before the artist had even finished painting.  
  
It was exactly the kind of person she wanted to be.  
  
"Belle? You still here?"  
  
Lydia was looking at her cautiously, as if she was about to fall at any moment. Her hands were a few inches from her side and she was no longer sitting on the concrete table, but instead mere steps away from Belle.  
  
"Yeah, sorry," Belle said, rubbing at her wrist. "Just thinking about what you said."  
  
Lydia pondered that for a moment, "What? That you don't owe me?"  
  
Belle nodded.  
  
"You don't. It wasn't - nor is it now - my intent to use this as a controlling chip. I didn't think 'Hey, I'm going to be tortured so Belle will owe me!'. When I realized that they thought I was you, Rumple isn't the only one I wanted to protect."  
  
Belle shook her head in disbelief. "You're..." She was what? Brave? Inspiring? Both? "Incredible. And I know it's not enough, but thank you."  
  
Lydia gave her a big smile. "That's alright, let's not make a habit of it though, yeah?"  
  
Rumple appeared a few moments later, face pale. "We need to get back. Something is wrong with Clay."  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how smooth updates will run, but please know that I'm doing my best. I'm very grateful to everyone who is giving this fic a shot, and I don't think I've said that. Thank you so much.


	19. Chapter 19

As soon as Rumple opened the door to Clay's apartment, he was met with an arm full of Holland. 

  
She hugged him tight, then pulled back suddenly. "Papa! It's Clay, come look!"  
  
They followed Holland through the hallway and into a bedroom, were Clay lied across the bed, white as a sheet.  
  
Rumple sat her down and walked over towards Clay, looking at him hopelessly. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Holland being lifted up, her arms around Belle.  
  
Holland squeezed Belle tight and let out a muffled little sob. "What's wrong with him?"  
  
Belle stroked her hair softly, "I don't know, baby."  
  
Rumple turned to Belle and whispered, "Why don't you all go wait in the living room." Then he leaned and whispered in her ear, "I don't want her to see him."  
  
Belle nodded and took Holland out, pressing a kiss to her curls.  
  
"Where do you want me?" Lydia asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.  
  
Rumple turned to face her, conflicted. If Clay needed to be moved or just support, Lydia was great at encouragement. On the other hand, Clay didn't exactly like Lydia, and if the Shadowbenders decided to attack again, Rumple didn't want Lydia anywhere near them.  
  
"With Belle and Holland," Rumple said finally, giving her a small smile, "They're going to need you right now."  
  
Lydia nodded and slipped out the door, closing it behind her.  
  
"You 'aven't told her?" Clay slurred, cracking open an eye.  
  
Rumple knelt by his side, placing a hand against his forehead. He was burning up. "No. I tried to, but... stuff happened."  
  
Clay gave a hoarse laugh, "I don't 'uppose 'stuff' means... stuff."  
  
Rumple shook his head, "Clay, what's happening?" He was pretty sure he already knew, but he needed to be _completely_ sure.  
  
"It's time. Or...will be. Very, very soon." Clay's voice seemed blank, his eyes unfocused.  
  
"Time as in..."  
  
"C'mon, Papa. You know I'm from the future, I don't want to spell it out."  
  
Behind him he heard a muffled thump and a soft curse.  
  
Slowly he turned around, finding himself staring into Belle's overly bright blue eyes. And at her feet were two cups of spilled tea.  
  
How'd she opened the door without him noticing?  
  
"Sorry," she muttered harshly, "I only wanted to bring tea." With one last glance at Clay, she turned and fled.  
  
"I dunno 'bout you, but I'd go after her. Now." Clay mumbled, his body relaxing on a sigh.  
  
Rumple quickly went after Belle, passing a distracted Holland and a frowning Lydia. When Rumple stepped into view, her frown faded and she tilted her head towards the kitchen.  
  
She was scrubbing a tea pot, hands white knuckled on the sponge, teeth clenched.  
  
"Belle..."  
  
"Sorry for disturbing you two. I just thought tea might help." Her voice was rasped with unshed tears, hands shaking slightly.  
  
"Belle-"  
  
"No, it's alright. None of my business."  
  
Rumple frowned at that, confused. None of her...  
  
Oh.  
  
"Belle, hang on-"  
  
"I just need a bit, Rumple. I'll help you and Lydia with this, but I need a minute. Please."  
  
Rumple reached over her and turned off the water, grabbing both of her hands in his.  
  
"Rumple-"  
  
This time he cut her off, "No, Belle. I need you to listen."  
  
He looked into her eyes, and she gave a weak nod.  
  
"Clay isn't Lydia's son."   
  
Belle didn't say anything, her previously clouded eyes growing wide with understanding. Instead of nodding or accepting what he'd said, she jerked her hands out of his loose grasp.  
  
"Why didn't you say anything?" She hissed angrily.  
  
"Because I didn't really have the time with Shadowbenders and finding Lydia."  
  
"So...what's wrong with him?"  
  
Rumple coughed, looking at his feet. "That's part of why I didn't tell you, I...didn't know how. He..."  
  
Luckily Belle didn't need him to continue, instead averting her gaze with a soft, "Ah."  
  
The air between them was tense until Rumple let out a tired sigh and asked, "What do we do?"  



	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Belle makes a new friend.

It was for the best. 

  
As long as she kept telling herself that, then she'd be okay. The single shred of sanity that she had left wouldn't evaporate and she'd be able to live her life in relatively okay spirits.   
  
So long as she never had to see him again. Which was hard, considering they had a daughter.   
  
Belle groaned and let her head hit her knees, the books digging painfully into her lower back. Again and again she'd tried to clear her mind of all things, just completely blank out.   
  
It didn't work.   
  
Holland was safe with Henry and Violet, but that didn't stop her mind from whirring.   
  
Maybe she should have let him explain more. It wasn't as if he'd done anything other than what she'd asked him to. She had told Rumple to get her back, it wasn't his fault that her father had once again attempted to decide her fate. He'd only done what she asked, using the skills he knew.   
  
Could she blame him for that? It wasn't as if she'd given him much choice in the matter.   
  
No.   
  
No, no, no. She couldn't be doing this. Not now. Not when just hours ago she'd torn into Rumple for threatening Storybrooke in the name of waking her up. Yes, she'd seen his reasoning, but the way he'd gone about it was all wrong.  
  
Still...   
  
Oh no...   
  
"Uh, ma'am? Everything okay?"   
  
Belle nearly jumped out of her skin, heart hammering.   
  
The stranger slowly held up a book, a small smile of reassurance on his face. His unfamiliar face.   
  
That was new.   
  
"Yeah, hi. Sorry, I was...spaced out. I assume you want to check that out?" Belle stood up, giving the stranger a nice smile. One that she hoped reassured him, considering she'd been the one sitting on the floor in the back of a library.   
  
"Yes please. I'm...interested in this kinda stuff." He explained, smiling down at the book with such fondness that Belle felt her smile come a little easier.   
  
Always refreshing to meet a fellow book lover.   
  
"Of course, I'd love to check it out to you."   
  
She led him over to the desk, still fighting to keep her smile in place. It wouldn't due to break down in front of a complete stranger who probably already found her a little odd. That would definitely make up his mind.   
  
"Ma'am? Are you alright?"   
  
No. She was probably about as far from alright as a person could get. And if the dull ache in her heart told her anything, it was that it would only get worse. "Yes, sorry. Just have a lot on my mind."   
  
With an understanding smile, he passed her his book.   
  
Before she could take it, the stranger gently put two fingers on her wrist. The touch was pressured enough to grab her attention, but soft enough not to make her panic.   
  
"Are you alright? And don't say you're just 'spaced out' because I know spaced out. That's pretty much all I do."   
  
Belle let out a chuckle at that, giving the stranger a tight lipped smile. "I just realized that I've made a massive mistake."   
  
"Then fix it." Was his instant response.   
  
If only it was that easy.   
  
"You forgot the part where I said massive."   
  
Suprisingly, the stranger chuckled. "Has he never made a massive mistake?"   
  
Belle's mouth fell open in shock, a very unladylike sound bubbling out from somewhere deep in her throat. "How did you...?"   
  
Another kind smile, "Lucky guess. Usually is in these situations."   
  
Belle nodded along, shocked speechless.   
  
They stood in silence until the stranger cleared his throat and tapped his book twice.   
  
"Right! Sorry."   
  
"What helped you?" He asked her suddenly.   
  
"Time. Time to process and think. It helped put things in perspective."   
  
He gave her a proud grin, nodding his head in agreement. "Then there's your solution. Time."   
  
"Time?" Belle echoed softly. Was that it?   
  
Seriously?   
  
The stranger gave a firm nod. "Yes, time," he took his fingers from her wrist, giving her a thumbs up.   
  
Belle laughed at the childish display, feeling lighter and more level headed. "Here's your book on...time travel?"   
  
Now he seemed embarrassed, his laugh more of a soft huff. "Erm, yeah. It's...complex."   
  
"I'm sure you'll get it, maybe. I'm actually not entirely sure how it works myself."   
  
He looked between her and the book, a lopsided smile on his face. "Well, assuming I become an expert in the department, I'll happily share my knowledge with you someday." 

With that said, he turned and walked away, humming softly. 

"Hey!" Belle called after him, "What's your name?"

He turned and chuckled, "It's Clay, ma'am." 

"Belle," she corrected. 

"Hm. Belle," Clay bowed theatrically, "A pleasure to meet you, Miss Belle." 

And with that said he was gone, leaving Belle to heed the advice he'd given her; wait. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters?! This is my way of saying thank you for all of your patience these past few weeks, things have been rocky, but we're all clear. Thank you so much for the support, I really needed it.


	21. Chapter 21

Belle had left Rumple in the kitchen, telling him to give her a moment. 

She wasn't upset with him, but that didn't make the situation any easier to comprehend. Clay was her son - her son who was in the next room, weak as a kitten, waiting for her and Rumple to...   
  
Oh gods...   
  
As many times as they had made love, this would be different. It wouldn't be because he wanted to, it'd be solely for Clay. Could she do that?   
  
Belle knew it would only make things worse between them, but what other choice was there? Was she honestly willing to sacrifice Clay for that?   
  
No, she knew she wasn't. As confusing and uncomfortable as the situation was...they'd do something. Maybe not that - or maybe exactly that.   
  
Belle didn't know anymore.   
  
Aimlessly, she paced the small apartment, ending up exactly where all of this started.   
  
Clay was still lying across the bed, his skin pale and lips tinged faintly blue. He'd been a friend when she needed one, and support when she needed it. Now?   
  
Now he needed her.   
  
Silently she walked over to his bed, dropping to her knees so she could feel his forehead. And while he looked pale, his skin was scalding to the touch. That definitely didn't help her already panicked mind.   
  
He let out a soft groan at the gentle touch of her hand, and his tired blue eyes fluttered open. "Belle?"   
  
It was a softly spoken, a quiet hopefulness in the short breath. He'd said her name, yes, but that hadn't been his question. Not really.    
  
So she shook her head.   
  
His eyes, bloodshot and dim as they were, slowly trailed over her face. "Mama?" He tried again, softer than before. More vulnerable than she'd ever seen him. So hopeful it broke her aching heart.    
  
How hadn't she'd seen it before? What had blocked her from feeling this connection to him that she felt now? The overwhelming urge to protect him and love him and just take all the pain away.   
  
She wanted to take his pain. Every last bit of it until he was healthy and _happy_.   
  
That was all that mattered.   
  
"Yeah, love," she murmured softly, running her fingers soothingly through his sweat soaked hair. "Sorry it took me so long."   
  
"'S okay." He slurred painfully, grunting as if he was trying to sit up.   
  
Which he was.   
  
"No," Belle protested softly, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder to ease him back down.     
  
Clay's back hit the mattress with a soft huff, a little groan of pain escaping past his tightly closed lips.   
  
"I'm c-cold." Clay stuttered, his entire body wracking on a shiver.   
  
Belle instantly stood, wrapping the blankets tighter around his shaking form, tucking him in the best she could. It didn't help much.   
  
This was her fault.   
  
Whether or not the Shadowbenders had sent someone to screw with their time line didn't matter. Belle had left Rumple.   
  
And now Clay - her _son_ \- was paying the price for her mistake.   
  
A single tear had slipped out the corner of her eye, and it splashed agaisnst his cheek. Clay's eyes fluttered back open, a trembling hand wiping at the tear. He stared at the liquid with unseeing eyes for a moment, then his hand fell back onto the bed.   
  
"Sorry," she croaked softly, kissing his forehead.   
  
"Don't cry, Mama. Please."   
  
His voice was tight with pain, eyes lined heavily and body coiled tight.   
  
Belle carefully sat down on the bed - so very carefully - and hummed softly. It was an old lullaby that she had vague memories of hearing as a child, her mothers voice soothing in the aftermath of a nightmare.   
  
But this wasn't a nightmare. It was real. It was real and happening right now and _damn scary._  
  
"Hurts," he slurred, eyes once again screwed shut. Belle stroked his hair, placing another soft kiss to his burning forehead. He didn't have long, but that didn't matter. 

Her mind was made up.   
  
"I know, love," she gently untucked him from the blankets - her heart breaking at his pained moan - and _looked_ at him. He was disappearing. She could see the bed through him, the sight making her blood run cold. Carefully, she tucked him back in, making sure that the blankets were snug around him.   
  
"I know it hurts, sweetheart. But I'm going to make it stop, I promise."   
  
With that promise ringing in her ears, Belle left the bedroom to find Rumple. 


	22. Chapter 22

She found him leaning against the wall, a small smile curling at his lips.   
  
Holland was laughing as Lydia put on a puppet show with cutouts from a coloring book. She was distracting her, Belle realized.   
  
"Rumple..." Belle said softly, putting a gentle hand on his arm.   
  
He didn't even look at her, but his smile dimmed just a bit. "I talked to Lydia about...everything that's happening with Clay and she said she would watch Holland, if we needed."   
  
Belle blinked. "That's...a very generous offer."   
  
Rumple merely nodded, his discomfort thicking the air. Or at least the air around them, Holland and Lydia continuing to play with their puppets.   
  
And while a part of her screamed to hurry this up, Belle hesitated. "Rumple, are you okay with this?"   
  
At that he turned and faced her, another small smile on his lips. Small, but real. "Yeah, I'm okay with it. I just...don't know what will happen after."   
  
"Me neither."   
  
Holland giggled again, turning and facing Belle with a huge grin. "Mama! Did you see our puppets? Miss Lydia helped me make them. See?"   
  
Belle knelt down next to her and wrapped her in a side hug. "I see them, baby. They're wonderful."   
  
Holland burrowed into Belle's side, sighing in relief. "I missed you, Mama."   
  
Belle squeezed Holland a little tighter and kissed her hair, "I miss you too, love. After we're done helping Clay I promise that I won't leave your side." Holland leaned away and pulled a face at that.   
  
"It's okay, Mama. I know that you're a hero and sometimes heroes have to give up stuff...so they can save people."   
  
Belle crushed Holland to her, surprising another giggle out of the little girl. "You're growing up so fast," she whispered against her hair.   
  
Lydia had watched all of this with a gentle  smile, her eyes sincere. "I'll take care of her...she'll be okay."   
  
"I know," Belle responded, releasing her daughter so she could go hug Rumple.   
  
"See you soon, Papa." Holland whispered against his suit jacket.   
  
Rumple kissed her hair, "I'll see you soon, Holland."   
  
Lydia rose and held out her hand, "C'mon, ducky. Let's go get some ice cream."   
  
Silent, Belle watched Holland and Lydia leave, her nerves returning full force. Desperately she grappled for the image of Clay's disappearing skin and cold sweat, making her remember why she was doing this.   
  
Not that she wanted that to be the only reason. A small part of her, a darker part, was practically drooling at the prospect of getting to be with Rumple like that. No matter his reasoning.   
  
"It might be faster if you magic us there, instead of driving," Belle stated quietly, breaking the deep silence between them.   
  
Wordlessly, he took her hand, making them both dissappear in a cloud of crimson smoke.   
  
~X~   
  
He landed them, of all places, in their old bedroom.   
  
And while yes, it was very practical and time saving, Belle's already pounding heart jumped into her throat and picked up speed. She was keenly aware of the slight wobble in her step as she turned and faced him, her fumbling hands trying to slip off his tie with no success.   
  
Grinding her teeth, Belle forced her jittery hands steady, still unable to undo his tie. By her third attempt Belle felt herself shaking with anger and hurt and love, none of which made any sense to her because all she wanted to do was take off a damn tie.   
  
She'd done it before, with ease, in fact.   
  
"Belle," gently he grabbed her shaking hands, placing them over his own pounding heart. Good to know she wasn't alone. "Belle, stop"   
  
He was looking at her with an intensity that made her face heat, her heart thumping for an entirely different reason now. He looked like he actually wanted to be there. With _her_.   
  
"What's wrong, Belle?" He asked, soothingly rubbing her knuckles with his thumb.   
  
"Nothing, Rumple," she lied, a heavy guilt falling over her instantly. "I'm just a little nervous." She ammended softly.   
  
Instead of teasing her for it, or outright laughing, Rumple nodded in understanding, pulling her into his chest for a tight hug.   
  
His warm hands rubbed up and down her back, the motion calming her racing heart and causing her to relax. 

"I talked to Lydia while you were with Clay. I-I told her that I couldn't be with you like that and-and not be with you. You're worth more than that to me. _Way_ more." His voice was soft and soothing, the tension she felt earlier seemingly melting, leaving her feeling- 

Wait. 

When Belle's foggy mind actually registered his whispered words, not just his soft brogue, her heart immediately started racing - again. 

And while she considered herself a fairly intelligent person, the only response she could come up with was a mumbled, "Huh?" 

Rumple took a little step back, the slight distance feeling like an entire ocean, and bowed. When he looked back up at her, there was a nervous smile painting his lips. "If you will have me..." 

Belle felt dizzy and shaky and while part of her was waiting to wake up from whatever glorious dream she was having, another part was already moving her to fill up the small distance he'd put between them. 

Using his tie she pulled him into a desperate kiss, still expecting to wake up at any moment. Then he pulled back. 

Belle whined softly, but he pressed a single finger against her lips. "Was that a yes?" He looked so hopeful that Belle felt her lips stretch into a wide smile. And while her mouth was apparently no longer working, her head was nodding so fast that she felt slightly dizzy. 

He recaptured her lips in a searing kiss, leading her backwards until her knees hit the mattress and she fell back, still using that damned tie to pull him back over her. 

Now was, Belle decided, a good time to make sure that he had meant what she thought, still expecting to end up disappointed. There was no way this was happening. "Rumple...did we just get back together?" 

Still hovering over her, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, kissing where his finger had dusted her jaw. That definitely didn't help her focus. 

Not that she was complaining. Because she _definitely_ wasn't. 

"I think so. Do you want to be with me? Not just for Clay and not just because you don't want me to be with someone else. Do _you_ want to be with me?" He asked, pressing another delicate kiss to her jaw. 

"More than anything." 

He leaned down and pressed another breathtaking kiss to her lips, winding their fingers together. "Then yes. We did." 

Belle wanted to cry and laugh at the same time, scream at the top of her lungs and hug him tight to her chest. But not right now. 

Now, she had something else in mind. 

Carefully, she pulled one hand out of his loose grasp, pulling his lips back to hers and finally managing to get his tie off, the piece slipping through her fingers with a whisper of silk. 


	23. Chapter 23

Regret was an emotion that Belle was rather intimate with.   
  
When she'd first used the dagger on Rumple, it had felt like icy shards freezing her from the inside out, deep and unyielding. After she'd exiled him, it was mindless, a dark void. Any emotion that she felt was sucked into it, leaving her feeling hollow and lost.   
  
During her brief relationship with Will Scarlet, it had felt lighter - still painful as hell, but more sharp lashes than the deep, unending pit in her soul.   
  
There were too many types of regret to name, and she felt none of them. The same void that had been present was now filled with love. Overflowing love and happiness...sheer relief.   
  
Could Rumple say the same?   
  
Last night he'd assured her repeatedly that he wanted this - wanted _her_. Soft words and even softer kisses, the mere thought making Belle shiver in desire. And fear.   
  
What if he'd changed his mind?   
  
"What are you thinking about?" The man himself whispered, his voice gruff with sleep.   
  
Belle looked at him and smiled, hoping her slight trace of fear wasn't visible in her eyes. "Nothing important."   
  
A single eyebrow raised and a gentle press of his lips to her cheek. "You can tell me anything, Belle."   
  
"I was just thinking about..." she trailed off uncertainly. Thinking about what? Them? Herself?   
  
"About last night," Rumple finished quietly.   
  
Belle nodded, searching his face for even a clue as to what he was thinking. While she had no doubt that he'd tell her if he regretted what he'd said, a little warning before might cushion the blow a bit. A blow she'd never recover from.   
  
Not after all the assurances he'd whispered in her ear as he-   
  
"Belle? Are you still with me?"   
  
Lightly she traced over his jaw, giving it the same gentle kiss he'd given hers last night. "Yeah, I am."   
  
"I don't regret it..." Rumple said quietly, nuzzling against her neck. "If I know you as well as I think I do, that's what you're worried about, yeah?"   
  
Belle nodded, leaning into his chest, breathing him in. No other words were needed between them, both basking in the comforting silence and each other's arms.   
  
Rumple was the one to shatter it with a softly whispered, "I love you too."   
  
Belle sat up and blinked rapidly. And while her already flying heart absolutely _soared_ when those words left his lips, she was trying to figure out when she'd said it first. Maybe during?   
  
"At your apartment. After Holland had her nightmare...you told me that you loved me. I love you too."   
  
Belle leaned down again and kissed him soundly, moaning when his hands went to tangle in her hair.   
  
Gods, she'd missed this. So, _so_ much.   
  
"Mm. Belle, as much as I want to," he gave her a heated look that did absolutely _nothing_ to help with the desire coursing through her veins, "...we should check on Clay."   
  
But that did.   
  
Belle - heedless of her undressed state - jumped out of the bed and gathered her clothes. Her stomach turned and she felt close to panic, but she held her chin high. There was nothing more she could've done. _Literally_.   
  
Rumple gave her a reassuring smile and nodded his head towards the bathroom. "Care to join me in the shower, love?"   
  
All Belle could manage was a soft snicker, which - thankfully - Rumple took as a yes.   
  
~X~   
  
When Rumple knocked on the door to Clay's apartment, Belle's poor heart was once again hammering. What if they'd been too late? What it she hadn't gotten pregnant?   
  
And just as sweat had started to break out over her skin, the door was flung open. Belle barely had time to see Clay before he, quite literally, crashed into she and Rumple.   
  
"This is so weird, but thank you! Oh man, guys, that sucked. Like you have no...wait." Quickly he pulled back, his eyes narrowed in accusation. "Tell me you two showered. Please. If not, lie to me cause that's just wron-"   
  
Belle's face burned and Rumple emitted an embarrassed smile, his own cheeks pink. "Clay," he scolded lightly, a deep love visible in his eyes.   
  
Clay, for his part, merely shrugged, "You never know, Papa. I'm just making sure."   
  
Then his blue eyes - eyes just like her own - flickered down to her and Rumple's intertwined fingers. "Hang on a second..." Clay looked between them, smiling wide. "Either my vision is still doubling so it only looks like you two are holding hands, or you two are actually holding hands." 

Belle cleared her throat softly, a small smile forming. "And if we were? _Are_?" 

Clay didn't miss a beat. "Then you guys have some explaining to do." He tapped his foot impatiently for a moment, then a slightly horrified expression crossed his face. "Not everything!"

Rumple laughed his head tapping against hers, making Belle's stomach warm and butterflies erupt at the simple touch. 

Clay's face saddened just a bit, "As much as I love it here...and with you..." Clay flicked his eyes between the two, "I need to go home." 

Rumple nodded with an understanding smile, "Well, there's still a matter of explaining everything to Regina and the Charmings but I'm sure that I could convince them to let you rest for a while."

Now Clay's slightly sad smile turned _completely_ sad, and Belle's stomach dropped somewhere around her toes. 

"That's not what I meant, Papa." 


	24. Chapter 24

"Miss Lydia I feel like my feet wanna move real fast, but my body doesn't. Does that make sense?"   
  
Lydia narrowly covered her laugh with a slight cough. "I think it's called a sugar rush, ducky. At least you're not going crazy... Belle and Rumple would kill me."   
  
A little pang shot through her and Lydia took a long sip of her sweet tea. He'd made his choice and she was happy for him.   
  
"I don't think that they'd kill you. Clay wouldn't let them." Holland said thoughtfully, brows furrowed slightly in thought.   
  
Lydia sputtered, wiping her mouth with the corner of her napkin. Holland tilted her head a bit and raised a confused eyebrow. And in that moment, Lydia saw a clone copy of Belle.   
  
Huh. Never noticed _that_ before.   
  
Belle who was currently with Rumple, probably...   
  
Nope. Nope, nope, nope.   
  
Lydia took another long sip of tea, suddenly wishing for something a lot stronger. Like bourbon.   
  
Or scotch.   
  
Lydia wasn't picky. "Why would Clay stop them?"   
  
A sugar hyped child in an enclosed space was enough to make anyone go nuts. Besides, Clay didn't like her. Not that he didn't have grounds to - he was Rumple's best friend. And son.   
  
But now that he was with Belle again, did that mean Clay would still hate her? Or did that end with her and Rumple's relationship?   
  
Yeah...definitely needed a drink. Maybe several.   
  
"He was calling for you," Holland took a bite of ice cream and swallowed. Lydia winced as a big scoop of chocolate syrup landed on Holland's shirt.   
  
"What do you mean?" Lydia asked as she leaned over the table and uselessly tried to wipe off the chocolate. Crap.   
  
"When he started getting real sick...he called out for you. I would've called you, but I didn't know your number. I memorized Papa's."   
  
At some point Lydia must've sat back down in her seat, face screwed up in puzzlement. Why would Clay call out for her? That made about as much sense as... As what? The idea was unbelievable - comical even.   
  
"I think you might've heard him wrong, ducky," Lydia said gently, giving Holland her best smile. No need to discourage the little girl. That was the last thing Lydia wanted to do.   
  
Holland shook her head no, dark brown ringlets swinging with her force, but otherwise didn't say anything else.   
  
Okay then. Change of subject?   
  
"How's your ice cream? I know you don't like it when there's too much - or too little - chocolate sauce."   
  
The question was rather ridiculous seeing as the ice cream was almost gone, mere bites left actually. Wonderful.   
  
"Miss Lydia, why do you seem so nervous?"   
  
Damn. Though she shouldn't be too surprised, Lydia reminded herself. Rumple was very insightful and Belle was a genius. It wouldn't be very shocking if Holland could read minds. She was half Dark One and a product of True Love.   
  
"I'm sorry, ducky. I'm just..." What? She was what? "...confused." It sounded good enough for her. Add in some scotch and Lydia'd swear it was perfect.   
  
Whatever.   
  
"'Bout what?" Holland leaned forward and Lydia had to supress a chuckle. Holland might just be a little girl, but one day she'd give Archie a run for his money. Or maybe that was just Lydia...   
  
Who knew?   
  
"So many things, Holland. But nothing bad. I just... haven't slept well" Lydia let the end traill off and took another long sip of tea. That was dangerously close too spilling her guts out, to a child, but she couldn't help it.   
  
Nightmares plauged her every night, sometimes even during the day. And the worst part was she couldn't do anything about it, how the hell do you hide from a shadow? Could a Shadowbender attach itself to _your_ shadow?   
  
The thought made her shiver. Maybe she _should_ see Archie.   
  
"Have you even tried drinking tea before bed?" Holland asked, then her eyes snapped to the glass clutched in Lydia's hand. "The warm kind." Holland elaborated.   
  
... Had she?   
  
"I don't think so, Holland. Does it help?"   
  
Holland had just taken another bite of her ice cream, but nodded and made a funny _Mmhmm_ sound. Finally she swallowed and flashed her a smile, "Yeah it does."   
  
But before Lydia could ask her to kindly elaborate - the diner's door opened. 

"Mama! Papa!" Holland gave a bright smile and waved a ice cream covered hand towards them, waving enthusiastically. 

Belle giggled and scooped her up, pressing a kiss to Holland's cheek. "I see you had a good time with Miss Lydia." Holland nodded and burrowed closer into Belle, humming quietly. 

Belle smiled at Lydia and mouthed _Thank you._ Lydia nodded. 

Rumple walked over and ran a hand through Holland's curls, smiling softly. Lydia's heart gave a violent jerk and her eyes watered for just a moment before she pushed past it. _This is what you wanted_ , she reminded herself. 

"So what now?" She asked bravely, looking directly at the door. Just because she'd accepted it didn't mean that it didn't hurt. It was like a like sting on her heart, not excruciating...but no walk in the park, either. 

Somewhere in the middle. 

"Now we have to...fix things," Rumple said softly, a flash of pain going through his eyes. "And...I could really use your help. I-if you want to help me, that is."

At that her heart gave a funny little flip and she smiled. It wasn't as bright as it used to be, she knew. But it wasn't broken. "Always...that will never change."


	25. Chapter 25

In truth, Belle hadn't actually thought that they could make it more than twenty-four hours without some form of interruption from the Charmings. The fact that they'd made it as long as they had was a miracle.  
Luckily, Rumple didn't seem too keen on helping them either. Not that he ever was, only when she'd all but forced him to. Her way or the highway. Just another mistake made.  
  
"Look, Miss Swan, I have business of actual importance to deal with, so whatever mess you have managed to get yourselves in - get out of it. I'm busy." Rumple tried to push past, but Hook just stood in his way.   
  
"I see you two are back together. That or Belle's had one too many and thinks you're someone that you're not." Hook said smugly and Emma nodded in agreement. Before Belle could tear into him, Emma piped up.  
  
"Killian's right Belle, you shouldn't be here."  
  
Right. That was enough. "There isn't anywhere else I should be. I shouldn't have  _left_  in the first place," threateningly, she turned to Hook. "And you, I made the mistake of listening to you once and it cost me him. I won't be making that mistake again."  
  
Belle glared down the two until they finally backed off, muttering under their breath and giving steely glances at Rumple. Whatever.  
  
"Attagirl, Mom!" Clay said, smiling as he draped an arm across her shoulders. "Man, what I wouldn't give to see that again. Brilliant! Did you see Emma's face?"  
  
Belle laughed softly and tugged him into the pawn shop, "Alright, come on. We have to get you home."  
  
~X~  
  
It had taken a awhile to explain everything to Holland.  
  
Of course she had an idea - brilliant child that she was - when Clay had called her Mom, but Belle still wasn't sure how to explain how. Only when Rumple had softly taken over and stated that she was going to be a big sister did Holland's mouth fall open and her eyes go wide.  
  
"A big sister?" Holland breathed, looking between her and Rumple rapidly. Belle smiled and nodded.  
  
"Yeah. The baby's growing in Mommy's tummy right now. A little brother."  
  
Holland's eyes were filled with amazement as she put a little hand on Belle's stomach. "Right now?"  
  
Belle, too choked up to talk, nodded.  
  
"Hi little brother, it's me. Holland. I'm your sister." Holland's ear pressed against her not yet visible bump as her brows furrowed in softly. "Do you think he heard me?"  
  
Belle gave her daughter a watery smile and nodded. "Yeah, baby. I'm sure that he did."  
  
As much as Belle wanted to revel in that quiet moment, she couldn't. They still had to get Clay home and deal with the Shadowbenders and hopefully not mess anything up more than they already had. Or would.  
  
~X~  
  
"And that's all?" Lydia clarified, holding up the small pouch of unicorn horn dust with a mystified look.  
  
Belle nodded. "Yeah, that... - plus a lock of me and Rumple's hair, and his magic, should be enough to create a small portal."  
  
"You'd have to go too," Clay cut in, and three pairs of surprised eyes snapped to him. "To make sure it's the right time. I can't create a portal by myself, I don't know how. Don't worry...future Mom and Papa will help you back."   
  
"No they won't. Because you're not going anywhere." A new voice said smoothly, but when Belle turned, no one was there.  
  
"Caison," Clay growled softly, discreetly angling his body in front of Lydia's. Discreet, yes. But not so much that Belle didn't notice.  
  
A figure appeared from the shadows, a wild look in his silver eyes. 

Belle had enough experience with magical beings to know never to judge one before you get to know them. If she hadn't given Rumple that chance, she probably wouldn't be with him right now. 

But this man? 

His eyes had a twinge of insanity in them, and he was looking at each person with unfiltered glee. Almost like he was plotting all the ways he could make them suffer.   
  
"Who is this, Clay?" Rumple asked, a fireball appearing in his hand.  
  
"Ah ah," Caison's eyes locked with Holland's and the little girl started choking, her eyes watering.  
  
"Stop!" Belle screeched, falling to her knees and desperately trying to calm Holland down.  
  
"The fireball, Dark One. I can snap her little neck before you can torch me. And I promise, I won't bat an eye. Wouldn't be the first time I've killed a child."  
  
The fire burned out in his palm, but Rumple's eyes burned with anger. Caison didn't seem fazed. "Isn't that better, so much less hostile."  
  
With a wave of his hand Holland fell into Belle's waiting arms, gasping for breath. Her body shook and Belle held her close, jaw locked. Provoking him would do nothing but hurt Holland. 

He knew _exactly_ how to bend them. 

"I am Caison," he looked around as if he expected a thunderous appaulse. Or maybe a glimmer of recognition. Either way, he got neither. "Leader of the Shadowbenders..." he continued. 

 _That_ got a reaction. 

Rumple snarled and made for him, only to be slammed back by a wall of magic.

Caison tsked and strode over, shaking his head. "Now now, Dark One. May I call you Rumple? I'm going to call you Rumple...where was I? Ah, yes... Rumple, please don't make me gut your daughter. That would be awfully messy, and I'm not particularly fond of messes." 

Caison slowly made his way to Clay, still grining with that same insane glee. "But you. Oh, you've made quite a mess. One that I had to clean up - and as I said moments ago - I'm not fond of those. Not at all." 

The last part was a silent murmur, his eyes going unfocused before - quick as a flash - he was next to Belle. 

With a knife pressed against her stomach. 

"Such a mess," Caison drawled out, a slight frown on his face. "And to think, I can stop it now. Just a single slice." 

Rumple shuffled just a slight step forward. "You don't want to do that. Hurt anyone in here, and you'll regret it for the rest of your life. I  _will_  make you suffer." 

Caison laughed, "You think so, Rumple?" His smile turned cold, "I can murder your entire family before you have time to blink." 

Then everything seemed to slow down, the knife pressed sharper into her stomach and Rumple was flung back by another wave of magic as Caison began cutting. 

Or tried to. 

Because then, he too, was flung backwards - except he crashed into the wall hard enough to break it. Belle looked at Rumple, but he looked just as surprised as her. Clay had Lydia pushed behind him, eyeing Caison with disbelief. 

Which left... 

Holland. 

It was so hard to see the girl whose ear had just been pressed againt her stomach in wonder now. Her hands were outstretched in front of her, breathing labored and ragged. But her eyes... 

If Rumple's had been burning before, Holland's _blazed_. There was an undeniable air of darkness around her, one that left Belle feeling light headed and the slightest bit afraid. Not of Holland. Never of her... 

But of her magic. 

"You threatened me..." she said softly, taking a small step closer to Caison. Caison sneered and raised a hand, but suddenly cried out in pain and lowered it. 

"Holland...?" Belle called weakly. 

If her daughter heard her, she gave no sign. Her entire focus was currently on Caison, everything else blocked out. 

"You threatened my little brother." Holland's voice had gone cold. Colder than cold. Frozen. She was tense and loose at the same time. 

"Holland," Belle tried again, using a bit more force. 

"You threatened my little brother. He's just a baby. Not even  _born_  yet." 

This was bad. Holland seemed completely gone, her sole focus on Caison as she inched ever closer. Just a child. But right now? 

Dangerous. 

That was a word that Belle had never associated with Holland before. It was also what snapped her out of her temporary spell. "Holland, stop." 

Holland turned and looked at her, eyes still dark with anger. Her fists were clenched and she was visibly shaking. Something was very wrong. "Holland, it's okay, love. I'm okay." 

Caison, seeming to shake himself, quickly stood and dissappeared through the shadows. Belle didn't spare him a thought. "Holland?" 

Something was  _wrong_. Holland wasn't looking at Belle, she was looking through her. Eyes unfocused and dim, almost lifeless. 

"Holland, baby... Come on. Come back." Belle whispered softly, reaching out for her. 

She managed half a stumble forward before her eyes rolled back and her body hit the floor. 


	26. Chapter 26

Rumple hadn't left her side. Neither had Belle.   
  
Nor Clay and Lydia.   
  
It was as if they were all paralyzed, frozen with disbelief and shock. Of course Rumple had known the possibility of Holland having magic. If he were to be quite honest, it wasn't just a possibility, it was an expectation. Rumple had expected his daughter to have magic.   
  
What he hadn't expected was the sheer and overwhelming _power_ behind that magic.   
  
Caison had been very powerful himself, twisting and manipulating the darkness and shadows just as easily as he drew a breath. Rumple could feel the air around him crackling with raw power. Terrifingly _dark_ , raw power.   
  
And then, like a flash of lighting, Holland's own magic had dissolved all of it.

All of it.

Caison hadn't stood a single chance. Not only did Holland have power, she was young. The ability to control and manipulate the magic was more challenging.   
  
Especially in an emotional situation.   
  
"Will she be okay?" Belle asked - again - clutching the little girl's hand tight as she leaned over the cot they'd moved her to.   
  
Originally, Rumple hadn't been sure. The amount of power that Holland had unleashed should have done much more than make her pass out. The magic had to pull from somewhere, after all. It fed off of emotions and pain - be it mental or physical.   
  
Holland had released the equivalent of a _tsunami_ on Caison. But she was okay.   
  
"Just resting, Belle. With how much magic she-" Rumple started, only to be cut off.   
  
"-needs the rest to recover. I know, Rumple, but..." Belle's head tipped down as she kissed Holland's forehead, murmuring something Rumple didn't catch.   
  
"Maybe we can heal her," Clay suggested, raising his hands up, only for Rumple to gently shut him down.   
  
"No," Rumple stroked a loose curl behind Holland's cheek, smiling as she scrunched up her nose just a bit. "We don't need to."   
  
Slowly, dazed eyes opened, surveying the small crowd with a tired frown. "Mama... Papa..." her eyes shifted to where Lydia and Clay sat, acknowledging them with a slight, huff. "Sleepy..."   
  
Rumple leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, his lips covering the slight imprint Belle's lipstick had made. He scooped her up with ease, pausing as she grumbled and made herself more comfortable on his shoulder.   
  
"Now...where were we?" Rumple asked, lifting the bag of unicorn horn dust.   
  
~X~   
  
"And we're sure this is safe?" Belle asked, eyeing the newly formed portal with vaguely hidden mistrust.   
  
Rumple gave a quiet laugh and nodded at her question, "Yes, it's completely safe. Probably safer than here, I'd bet."   
  
He didn't elaborate on why, neither one of them needed the reminder of what could've happened if it hadn't been for Holland.   
  
"Papa? Was 'appening?"   
  
Speaking of...   
  
"Hey, sweetheart. We're finishing helping Clay. Remember what I told you?"   
  
Holland nodded, her curls tickling the side of his neck. "Mm. That we 'ad to help him. He needed to go back to his real home."   
  
Belle stood on the opposite side of Rumple and wrapped an arm around his waist. "Exactly. We just need to finish that and then we can relax." Rumple heard the slight catch in her voice, a soft little hiccup of a sob.   
  
She didn't want Clay to go. Neither did he.   
  
"We'll see him again," Rumple mumbled into Belle's hair, pressing a quick kiss to her temple.   
  
"Uh, guys? Don't mean to rush but... our portal is starting to close." Clay called out, raising an eyebrow in their direction.   
  
Rumple sighed and offered Belle a small smile, extending his hand. She took it instantly, interlocking their fingers and giving him a sure nod.   
  
Even then he had to check, "Ready?"   
  
Again with that brave nod, a less fragile smile forming on her face. "Ready."   
  
"Ready!" Holland mimicked, still held securely on his shoulder.   
  
Slowly, he locked eyes with Lydia, "Ready?"   
  
At that, she gave a watery laugh that filled him with guilt. She didn't deserve to be hurt. "I'm ready." And though her laugh had sounded pained, her voice was clear.   
  
So was the grin she gave him.   
  
Rumple returned her smile, then with Belle and Clay on either side of him, and Lydia directly across, they all stepped into the portal. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the later update. Real life got in the way. On a side note, this story is wrapping up! We only have a few chapters left. I really hope everyone likes how it all ends up!


	27. Chapter 27

Her mouth tasted like copper. And tangy. An odd combination of flavors made worse by the fact that the world was spinning.   
  
But when the world finally swam back into focus she found herself... in the pawn shop? Clay's fingers pressed softly into her arm, seeming to ground her and she turned her body away.   
  
It wasn't that Lydia disliked him, but he'd always been very clear about his feelings towards her.   
  
"Clay! Lydia!" Belle exclaimed, but when Lydia turned... Belle looked very different.   
  
Before she had time to process that fact she was being enveloped in a hug, Belle holding her and Clay tight. "We were so worried!"   
  
"Um..." what was she supposed to say to that? All they'd come to do was reunite Clay with his future parents - future Rumple and Belle - and go home. That was all.   
  
"Mama, something happened..." Clay stated gently, his eyes reminding Lydia of a guilty puppy. Or more specifically, one who had just been caught.   
  
Belle glanced between all of them, a single eyebrow raised. Only when she met Lydia's eyes did she whip around to face Clay, "You didn't. Tell me you didn't."   
  
Lydia knew she was talking about her. But why? She didn't know. Nothing that they had said in the past two minutes made any sense, and past Rumple and Belle looked just as confused as she felt.   
  
Wordlessly, she grabbed Clay by the arm and drug him out of the shop and around the corner.   
  
"Explain." It wasn't a request and he knew it. Even still, when he looked at her with pleading eyes, a small part of her felt sorry for him.   
  
"Lydia..."   
  
She raised up a hand to silence him. "Ever since my relationship with Rumple ended, you've been treating me different. I want to know why and I want to know now."   
  
"You have to understand-"   
  
"Now, Clay."   
  
He sighed in defeat, his body slumping. "I'm really sorry, Lydia."   
  
And before she had time to ask what the hell that meant, his lips covered hers. It was as if a wall inside her had broken, and once it did... everything came rushing back.   
  
_"If you're doing this so am I!" Lydia protested, slapping a hand down on the cover of the book Clay was trying to open. He looked at her in exasperation, pinching his nose and squeezing his eyes shut._  
  
_"Lyds, the Shadowbenders aren't messing around. They threatened Papa with my Mama and Holland. I won't have that happen with you."_  
  
_Slowly she went around and hugged his tense body. He was coiled tight as a spring and she could feel the fear and anger rolling off of him. "I won't lose you, Clay. Its my choice."_  
  
_Roughly he pulled back, tangling his hands in his own hair and pulling. "I'm just trying to protect you!"_  
  
_"I don't need protecting!" She shouted back._  
  
_He stared at her for a long moment, eyes narrowed. She didn't back down. If Clay insisted on throwing himself in harms way, then she would follow him. True Love was sacrifice after all._  
  
_"I was trying to make a memory block. But... not a spell. Just a potion." He said finally, averting his eyes. In between his fingers he held a silver vial, "This is it."_  
  
_Lydia blew out a sharp breath. "For Caison?"_  
  
_Clay nodded._  
  
_"Okay, but how do we get him to drink it? Its not like we can just hand it to him."  Lydia stated, leaning heavily against the counter. She picked up the book on Memory Blocks he'd been reading and tucked it under her arm._  
  
_"I know. That's what I'm-"_  
  
_"BELLE!"_  
  
_Immediately both Clay and Lydia ran out into the street, stopping at the sight before them._   
  
_Caison had Belle by the throat, a dark light of pure satisfaction shining in his eyes. Rumple was trapped by the tangle of dark magic surrounding him and Holland was sprinting across the street._  
  
_But she was still several blocks away._  
  
_"Oh, Belle-y, Belle-y, Belle. What a predicament we've got here!" Caison smiled at each of them, a pit of darkness opening up behind him as the whole ground shook. Teasingly he held Belle over the hole, grinning at Rumple._  
  
_"No!"_  
  
_A shot of magic, light magic Lydia noticed, pierced  through the tangle of darkness, colliding with the pit._  
  
_Both Caison and Belle flew backwards, landing with a sickening thud. But the repercussion acted as a drain..._  
  
_...one that sucked Lydia in._  
  
_Clay dove for her, one hand gripping the edge of the sidewalk and one hand holding hers. "Lyds!"_

_"Clay! Can you pull us up?" Lydia asked, the book still held tightly in her other hand._

_"I can try," he grunted in response, trying to pull them both up._

_Overhead she could hear the fight going on between Caison and Rumple. Crashes and banging that shook and rattled the ground, making Clay's hand slip._

_"I can't use my magic!" He shouted, cursing as another crash sounded._

_"Just let go Clay," Lydia said softly. He looked down in surprise, his eyes wide. Lydia tried to smile._

_"Let me go, Clay. It's okay." Lydia soothed, but he shook his head._

_"No! No, that's not happening. I'll fix it." He pulled up again, but this time a finger slipped and Clay barely had a hold of the ledge._

_"Clay..."_

_"I said I'll fix it! I'm not leaving you, I won't do that."_

_Another crash and bang, this time the sound of a body hitting a wall. Lydia swallowed at that, closing her eyes against the tears she felt building. She had to be strong for this._

_"Clay," she waited until he looked at her, then whispered, "please, Clay. Let go."_

_His eyes watered and his tears splashed against her hair, but he let go._

_...just not of her hand._


	28. Chapter 28

"Lydia?" Clay's worried voice broke through her trance and she blinked, the world coming back into sharp focus.

His blue eyes were wide and filled with hesitance and not a little guilt.

What was he so guilty abou-

_"Lydia! Are you okay?" Clay asked, frantically pushing her hair out of her face so he could look into her eyes._

_They had landed sprawled out on the grass together, her half on top of him._

_"Ugh...yeah..." Her head hurt like hell and her knee was pretty banged up from where she'd hit it on the grass, but she was alive. Which was a miracle, as far as Lydia was concerned._

_Clay let out a pained moan and instantly Lydia climbed completely off of him, eyes searching his body for any injuries._

_"'M fine, baby. Just a little sore." The way his head rolled to the side as his body shuddered softly made her seriously doubt that, but something else caught her attention._

_The vial._

_It lied - abandoned - a few feet away from Clay, the silver liquid still shining in the darkening sky._

_"Guess we won't need that," Lydia mumbled, brushing the dirt off of her hands with a sigh. Clay's plan hadn't been perfect, but it'd been all they'd had._

_Now they were back where they started. With nothing._

_"That's not entirely true," Clay argued, rising with a soft grunt and lifting the vial up off the ground._

_"Why would we need it?" The potion had been for Caison and the probability of him drinking it now was even less than when this had started._

_Unless..._

_"If not Caison, then who?" A lump settled somewhere in the pit of her stomach, tight and heavy._

_Out of every scheme and little plan, this one made the least sense. There was no plausible reasoning behind it._

_"If Caison saw me dive after you, then its a moot point...but what if I'd got caught in the drain effect with you?"_

_His reasoning made perfect sense, but still. "Okay. Then we pretend."_

_He covered the small distance between them in quick strides. "Lydia, he's a Shadowbender. Not just a Shadowbender, the Shadowbender. He'll figure us out and then he'll kill you."_

_"So we avoid each other. Stay out of contact and away." It'd hurt. Oh, it'd hurt like hell. But it would hurt less than forgetting him altogether._

_"I can't take that chance. If it was my life, then that'd be a different story. I'd trade that in a heartbeat as long as my last moments could be spent thinking of you. But it's not. It's your life, and I'm not willing to risk that."_

_Tears slipped unnoticed down her cheeks, splashing silently into the grass. She understood. Everything he'd said made crystal clear sense._

_But to forget him?_

_To forget what it felt like to laugh and converse, fight - then kiss and make up, fall asleep to the sound of his steady heartbeat. How was she supposed to do that?_

_"I-I can't."_

_Clay let out a stuttering breath, pulling her closer. "Lyds..."_

_"I can't!" She cried, shaking her head and burrowing into his chest for warmth. For security._

_She'd probably just signed her own death warrant, but she got to keep her memories of Clay. Her life was a small price to pay for that._

_He held her for a bit, then gently eased her body away from his. There was a strange look in his eyes, one that was laced with sadness and determination. And love. Lots of love._

_"I'd rather you be alive and hate me, than be dead and love me. Forgive me." Then he uncorked the vial and tipped it back._

_What was that supposed to accomplish? Him forgetting her? Still painful, but she could put on a show. Act like she didn't know him. Pretend that she hadn-_

_And then he was kissing her._

_But when his lips parted, the potion was transferred from his mouth to hers. Then his lips closed._

_He had her pressed against him tight, preventing her from pulling away. Her eyes watered and her throat burned, but it wasn't until her head started spinning that she swallowed._

_Vaguely she noticed Clay coughing and spitting up next to her, but her mind felt unpleasantly slow and jumbled. Her thoughts seeming to halt._

_She felt her body falling, but couldn't manage to make her legs move. Or anything, actually._

_Only Clay's arms wrapped around her waist kept her upright._

_Not that it lasted long._

_Gently he lowered her to the grass, stroking strands of hair behind her ear and crying softly. His tears felt boiling against her freezing cheeks._

_"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." His voice seemed very far away and distorted. Lydia wanted to reach out a hand to him, or to cry for what he'd just done...but she couldn't. Nothing happened. In her mind she screamed and wailed, but in reality, nothing._

_Nothing at all._

_A young man was knelt next to her - Clay! - but for the life of her, she couldn't remember him. He looked familiar, almost..._

_Like someone that she'd known once. Maybe._

_Lydia wasn't entirely sure. The man - Clay! This can't be happening! - looked as if he'd been through hell, but he offered her a broken smile._

_"Can I help you, miss?" He - Cla...who...? - asked._

_Lydia sat up, staring down at her grass covered arms in confusion. Why was she just lying in grass? And where was she, exactly?_

_"Perhaps. I'm a...bit confused." That seemed to be a vast understatement, but she left it alone. Only so much one person could handle, after all._

_The stranger with a sad smile nodded at the book next to her. "That should help you out, ma'am."_

_A book on... Memory Blocks._

_What exactly was a memory block? "Umm..."_

_Another sad little smile. "Trust me, miss. There's a pawn shop, just a bit away from here. The owners name is Mr. Gold, he'll help."_

_Lydia raised a doubtful eyebrow but shrugged and tucked the book under her arm, whispering a soft thanks._

_Whoever this Mr. Gold was might not be able to help her...or he might actually be able to help...either way, it was better than nothing._

_With a confidence that she didn't feel, Lydia headed towards the pawn shop._


	29. Chapter 29

Clay knew the exact moment that she broke out of her trance.

Her eyes, which had been soft with confusion, were now hard and dark with rage. Lydia was angry.

_Very_ angry.

She stared up at him, unblinking, for the longest few seconds of his life. This was even worse than when she'd forgotten him, because then he could've at least pretended that they'd be okay.

One look into Lydia's dark eyes shot that theory.

"Lyds..." He stated slowly, only to be cut off.

"Don't you dare. Don't speak." She growled, her fists clenched. He could see her body shaking with repressed rage, her jaw trembling as her eyes stayed locked with his.

"I made my choice, Clay...and you-"

"Lydia, please..." Maybe if she let him explain, it wouldn't have to end. Damn it all, he'd just gotten her back! Now he was about to lose her...again.

_No,_ Clay thought grimly, _I've already taken one choice from her. I won't do it again. I won't plead my case._

"Let me finish!" Lydia snapped, her jaw trembling. A single tear slid down her cheek and Clay gently brushed it away, holding his breath.

That might have been a mistake.

Her eyes, which had been cold and angry, now filled with tears at his simple gesture. "It was my choice, Clay. And you took it from me."

Her words echoed the thoughts he'd had only moments ago, filling him with the inappropriate urge to laugh. Not that he would, of course.

_I'm sorry, Lydia_. "I know what I did, Lydia..." Clay paused, what he was about to say would probably make it worse. Much worse. "and I'm sorry that I took that choice from you, but I don't regret it. I'd do it again. Because your life was at stake. Your life!" Couldn't she see that? How much he loved her?

Her eyes were still dark and she was still crying, but the coldness was gone.

"I'd do it again," he repeated, not because he wanted to make her upset, but he needed her to understand. He wasn't apologizing for what he'd done, he was apologizing for how it had effected her. "Because I love you."

She was completely silent for a moment.

Then she slapped him.

Not hard enough to leave a bright red mark, Clay thought, but hard. And it still hurt. He'd done all he could. He'd told her the truth.

Maybe that wasn't enough for her.

"You _idiot_ ," she hissed, crying openly now. "You stupid, moronic, numb skull."

He barely had time to prepare as she flung herself into his arms, burying her face in the collar of his shirt.

Clay's own tears dripped softly into her hair, making Lydia pull him closer. The smell of cinnamon and coffee clung faintly to the skin on her neck and he shuddered, pressing a kiss there.

Gently, she pushed him back by his shoulders, ignoring his soft protest. "We don't have time for this." Her voice was soft and raspy, her eyes red rimmed.

She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

He nodded his acceptance and mumbled, "You're right. I'm sorry," then softer, "I love you." Because if nothing else mattered to her, then that was what he would leave her with. As long as she knew that, Clay could survive whatever came next.

He hoped.

"Clay. Look at me."

How could she do that? She had no magical abilities, but she controlled him anyway.

Stone faced, he looked up. There would be no more tears, Clay decided. He'd done what he had to.

Her face softened at his carefully crafted indifference, making him falter. She had been looking at him for mere seconds, but those two chocolate eyes saw right through him.

A little grin lifted at the corner of her lips and she leaned in to press a quick kiss to his cheek. "Clay, take your walls down. They're not needed here, not with me."

She'd said it like it was so easy, just all too simple. Why would he leave his heart unguarded for her sword?

Because she'd asked him to.

His cool demeanor slipped and Clay felt instantly vulnerable, a sitting duck. Lydia smiled brilliantly and kissed him, a sweet little peck.

"I love you, Clay. Please don't think otherwise. I'm upset - and rightfully so - but I love you. Okay?" A soft hand cupped his cheek, her thumb brushing over his lower lip. "Let's fix this. And then we can talk, alright?"

Again, he nodded, relief making him lightheaded. They would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a Rumbelle focused story, but if its requested, I can add more Clay and Lydia moments like this. Thoughts?


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some much needed Rumbelle TLC

Belle could feel Rumple stiffen beside her, his tight grip on her hand going slack. If he hadn't spent centuries hiding his emotions from others, his mouth would probably be hanging open as well. Belle understood - of course she did - but this information didn't help their current situation. In fact, it make it significantly more complicated than it already was. 

"Hey," Lydia said softly, thoroughly shattering the shocked silence that had filled the pawnshop after the news had been shared. "It's alright, yeah? You're still a great guy and I still stand by everything I told you - you deserve to be happy, Rumple. And now you can be." She smiled widely at him and after a few short moments, he returned the gesture halfheartedly. Belle knew it would take more than that to draw him out of...whatever mindset he was in, but the fact that Lydia had cared enough to try made Belle nod her thanks to the other woman. 

Some of the tension had left Rumple though, leaving him less coiled like a spring and more warily anxious. Not sure if she should, Belle gave his hand a tight squeeze of reassurance, a quiet reminder that he was in no way alone. He had her. Forever and always, he had her. His slightly dim gaze slipped to her and he gave her a little grin, the corner of his mouth flicking up before it crumpled back down. 

He was okay. In shock - definitely - but okay. That was enough for her...at the moment. 

Future Belle and Rumple seemed to be in just as much shock as her Rumple was, but they didn't ask any question, thankfully. Belle had no doubt that those would be reserved for when Rumple and Belle left, directed mostly at Lydia. 

Still, there was a deep understanding and a tangible love in the couples' gaze that made Belle's heart warm, despite their current situation.  _Is this our future?_ Belle wondered, her eyes sliding between the two people across from her.  _They - we? - look so happy..._ And in sync. As Future Rumple raised a single eyebrow, Future Belle gave a soft sigh and nodded. Then they both looked at Clay. 

To make things even more confusing, Clay turned to face her Rumple with a little grin. "You two should get out of here-" he raised a hand to stall her immediate protest and Belle let the words leave her with a whoosh of air. She could hear him out, at least. "Caison is probably already looking for you two - and Holland - its not safe." 

A valid point, Belle admitted to herself - but still she shook her head. "No. We can't run from him. He won't hold that much power over us." 

To her surprise, Lydia was the one who cut in softly. "It's not running, it's healing. Caison is a master manipulator and we haven't had a chance to breathe since all of this started." 

"But Holland..." Belle protested instantly, pressing her lips briefly to the once again sleeping girl's forehead. Holland let out a sleepy grumble and burrowed closer, the curls at the top of her head tickling Belle's cheek.  

"We'll protect her," Future Rumple assured, a smile playing about his lips. "We...have a bit more experience with Caison, Holland will be completely safe." 

Belle still hesitated, though she wasn't entirely sure why. She had no doubt that Holland would be safe - it was her, Rumple, Clay, and Lydia after all - but a part of her was loathing the thought of being separated from Holland while a merciless killer hunted them down. Make that all of her actually. 

"She's safest with us, mama," Clay said gently, tucking a little curl behind Holland's ear with a fond smile. 

Belle knew that, but it didn't make it any easier. 

"Belle," Rumple - her Rumple said quietly, looking up at future them with complete concentration. His brows were furrowed as if he could see into their very souls if he only looked hard enough - and then he stopped. He let out a tired sigh and looked down at her, "I trust them. And I trust their experience." 

Clay beamed at this declaration and flashed a thumbs up, startling a giggle out of future Belle...But Belle hardly noticed. No - her complete focus was on Rumple...who had already lost a child...stating his trust in a way that was impossible to misconstrue. Those softly spoken words are what ultimately made Belle pass Holland's sleeping body into Clay's waiting arms, watching as her son stood completely still so Holland could readjust. 

It was on the tip of her tongue to tell Clay - all of them, really - to protect Holland...but one look at the scene before her proved those words unnecessary. They stayed in the back of her throat and shriveled up as she witnessed the obvious love radiating off of everyone surrounding her daughter. 

Yes, Holland was going to be fine. Now it was time for Belle to help her husband. 

~X~ 

Since neither of them felt safe enough to test their luck at the house, they opted for the cabin instead. 

Still, for all the progress that they'd made in the short period of time that their relationship had been reestablished, being completely alone with Rumple still felt strange in the most wonderful way possible. 

Only Rumple didn't seem to register that they were even in the same room, much less alone together. Instead he sat on the very edge of the king sized bed with his face buried in his hands, not making a sound. If it wasn't for the continuous rise and fall of his chest, Belle would've wagered that he wasn't breathing at all. Slowly Belle lowered herself to her knees and rested her hand on his leg, trying to duck down to look into his eyes. 

"Rumple?" He didn't answer. Still he sat stiff and silent, seemingly deaf to what she was saying - perhaps blind to her presence all together? No. He knew she was here, he just didn't know what to do about it. 

Fine. If he wouldn't - or maybe  _couldn't_ \- listen to her, then she'd listen to him. Marriage was compromise after all, right? 

Still on her knees Belle gently pulled his face out of his hands, pressing her forehead to his instead. His breathing, so silent before, was now harsh and raspy, sharp inhales and quick puffs of exhale. Running her fingers slowly through his hair Belle slowed her breathing down, allowing the pads of her thumbs to slide over his cheekbones as he tried to match their breathing. 

There was something else going on here. While the news of Lydia had been shocking, there was no way that it warranted this kind of reaction. But that didn't matter, at least not right now. Now he needed her and she was damn sure going to be here for him. 

After a few long moments of their slow breathing Rumple tilted his head just a bit up, making his lips brush against hers. A jolt of pure electricity shot through her and Belle bit the corner of her lip, brutally shoving down her arousal - now was not the time. 

Her resolve was significantly weaker, however, when he did it again - deliberately this time, Belle thought. His hands crept down to her waist and Belle let out a tiny shocked sound as he pulled her onto his lap. She let him feed off of her, tilting her head and immediately opening her lips for him as he kissed her deeply. 

They should be talking, Belle knew, but after having to live so long without the feeling of his lips sliding against hers, her skin warm and buzzing where she was pressed against him... 

She was lost.

In this one perfect moment she was lost and found and _home._ Like she'd been through a war and this was why she'd endured like she had. For this moment right here, a moment that she'd previously thought lost. 

Rumple was the first to break the kiss with a sharp breath, but Belle leaned in before he could pull too far away and pressed a few more kisses against his lips. She shifted slightly so that she was no longer straddling him and was instead curled up on his lap as he traced random patterns along her back and arms. After what seemed like an eternity he whispered, "I-I'm sorry, Belle. I just...It's been..." 

She cut him off with a gentle kiss and then nuzzled against his cheek, "I know, my love. I know." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for how long this update took! Real life came and kicked me in the teeth recently and I haven't been able to post until now. Again, so sorry!


	31. Chapter 31

Rumple wasn't sure how long it took Belle to fall asleep in his arms. They'd kissed, and then she'd drifted off at some point.

He felt a little off not noticing before.

Something had happened. Back in their time, when Caison had been threatening Belle and Rumple had tried to use his magic...something had happened. It was almost like he'd run face first into a brick wall, leaving him disoriented and vaguely confused.

And then of course they'd jumped into the future and Lydia had made everything worse.

Not purposely. Not out of spite nor a hatred for him, it was merely a coincidence. A messy, awkward, unbelievable coincidence. He'd thought he loved her.

He had loved her. And he loved Belle.

But it wasn't the same. Not even _close_ to the same.

With Lydia he'd had comfort and a place to go when he wanted to just be understood. It was a peaceful kind of relationship, never going beyond one heated make out.

He'd been drunk and hurting and desperate to feel something besides the ever present pain. He'd wanted to feel love. Instead he'd gotten a dull lust, but that had been enough for him.

His hands had tangled in her dark hair and the alcohol burning through him had Rumple convinced that this was perfect. Exactly what he wanted. 

It wasn't until she'd broken their passionate kiss that he realized that he'd been crying and she held him all night.

Lydia had his mind held captive, with her quiet compassion and little smiles of joy, but Belle...

Belle had his entire being wrapped around her little finger. She wasn't his world, she was the galaxy that held it. She wasn't the stars, she was the sun that made the stars look weak and dim.

She was more than everything and that scared the hell out of him.

And as Rumple pondered this further, the woman in question gave a soft snort against his shoulder before she blinked open sleepy blue eyes.

"Rum? Love? Everything okay?" But gods, he'd missed this sight. Her barely awake, eyes bright with sleep and curls messily mussed. This was what he'd been missing. 

The little part of him still afraid that she was about to walk away spoke up, whispering in his ear again. Rumple tuned it out, not wanting to hear it. 

They were working on it, they were trying. They'd both made mistakes and broken each other's hearts, now they were both healing. 

"Rumple? Are you okay?"

He blinked.

"Yeah. Sorry. I was just...thinking," he trailed off, his breath leaving in a sharp puff of air. Should he tell her? Was that okay, talking about his last relationship and the way he felt compared to her?

Belle sat up, banishing the small distance between them and pressing her lips against his cheek. "Please talk to me. I don't care what it's about, just talk to me."

This was progress. She knew what he was afraid of without him saying a words and managed to soothe his unspoken worries almost immediately. 

How could he have ever thought life without her was possible? 

"It's Lydia. I was just...thinking about her and you and...me."

Belle nodded and opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, the window next to the bed shattered.

The quiet peace was obliterated as an all too familiar person stepped through the window frame.

Caison, walking through the now broken window and over the glass, was beaming, silver eyes sparkling. "Oh, look at this! How lovely!"

Rumple pushed Belle behind him. Caison was powerful, more so than he, and Belle wasn't about to become a victim of his bloodlust.

And that's what it was, Rumple knew. Every time he'd faced them, Caison had lost. This wasn't a planned attack, nor was it crucial to whatever reasoning Caison and the Shadowbenders had behind all of this. 

This was straight revenge. With the power behind him and an army of Shadowbenders behind him, fighting was pointless, and might get Belle hurt. 

Rumple didn't care what happened to him, as long as Belle was okay. 

Caison seemed to noticed his stance because his cold eyes sparked with glee and he clapped. "As you wish, Rumple."

He knew what was coming, the field of black webbing it's way over his vision and Belle's tight grasp on his hand feeling far away. There was a ringing in his ears, the taste of copper on his tongue, and a dull pain shooting up his spine.

He could just barely make out the sound of Caison moving closer and the press of fingers against his chin and forehead.

Then the world went dark after the sound of Belle's sharp scream.


	32. Chapter 32

Belle stared down at her own hands in part awe and part horror.

Caison was sprawled a few feet from the bed, unconscious. Belle raised shaking hands to her flat stomach, trying to control her harsh breathing. What had happened?

_There was a sharp sound in the air. Not quite a scream but not a whistle either. It took Belle a few seconds to realize that the sound was coming from her mouth._

_Rumple had slumped forward and Caison had made his way over to him and Belle had screamed. Screamed and then..._

_Something happened._

_But with the blood rushing in her ears and the sight of Rumple so vulnerable to attack, Belle hardly remembered._

Rumple.

Startled, Belle jumped and turned to face him, heart racing.

He wasn't moving. His face was pale and his breathing was shallow, but he was breathing. Belle let out a little sob and reached over, pulling his head onto her lap.

Her fingers stroked through his hair, her forehead coming to rest against his. Belle didn't know what had happened.

But she didn't care. Rumple was safe, his breathing evening out as she murmured his name and pressed soft kisses against his cheek. He stirred groggily and let out a quiet whimper before nuzzling into her stroking fingers.

"Belle?" He questioned, brown eyes finally fluttering open.

"Yeah. Can you stand up?"

He blinked slowly. "I think so," his eyes drooped lazily for a moment before snapping back open. "Caison!"

"Easy, easy. I-I took care of him," and at his startled look, Belle quickly continued. "For now. He was threatening you and I just..."

Only then did Rumple seem to notice Caison sprawled out across from the bed, unmoving.

But his mind must've been having a harder time processing what he was seeing because he looked between the two of them a few times before needing to clarify. "You did magic?"

"Yes. And don't ask me how, because I don't know. It just...happened."

Rumple sat up slowly, blinking at her. "Magic is attached to your emotions."

"Yeah, but I don't have magic." Belle sighed, rubbing at her eyes with the heel of her hand. Why did she feel so drained all of a sudden?

Rumple lifted her chin with a little smile, "No, you don't. But Clay does."

Belle started to protest that that affect her when she remembered that Clay was currently growing inside of her body. It didn't get much more connected than that, did it?

"We should go back to the shop," she said instead, standing up on slightly wobbly legs. "Can you move?"

Rumple nodded, accepting her outstretched hand and rising with a soft grunt. She held his hand tight for a moment, then brought it to her lips for a quick kiss.

He gave her a tired smile and squeezed her hand in response.

Belle forced herself to stay focused as they made their way out of the cabin. There would be time for all of these little moments after the Shadowbenders were taken care of.

There would be time for everything.

~X~

"How are you still alive?" Clay hissed, his eyebrows drawn low over his eyes in shock.

Lydia swatted at his arm, tossing him a fondly exasperated look. "Clay...."

Future Belle and Rumple exchanged a grin.

Her Rumple still looked like he was having a hard time standing up so Belle wrapped an arm around his waist.

"The Shadowbenders are indestructible. How are we supposed to fight them?" Clay questioned.

"Well, I wouldn't say indestructible..." A new voice chirped.

Belle turned to see a young woman with tumbling brown curls and sharp blue eyes. Her smile was radiant as she regarded everyone in the room.

"Oh yeah? Then how do we fight 'em, sis?" Clay retorted.

Sis...

Holland.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. Canon completely shot and killed the muse forever ago. It's ghost decided to make a sudden appearance.

Holland couldn't help the wide grin that broke out on her face as her parents pulled her into their arms.

It was weird, sure - especially the part where she had to contort herself to avoid having to hit her younger self. Definitely a situation that she never expected to be placed in, that's for sure.

"I'm serious," Clay muttered, leaning back against the shop counter with a huff, even as a little grin tugged at his lips. "How're we supposed to defeat them? We tried light magic, and that was a bust. All it did was..." he cut off and gestured around, eyebrows raised expectantly.

Holland rolled her eyes and gently pulled out of her parents embrace. "We tried regular light magic. We didn't try True Love," she trailed off, blinking, "not purposely. When Dad was being grabbed by Caison's minions, Mom managed to get close enough to kiss him. What happened?"

"Their grip loosened enough for me to grab Rumple," Belle answered, regarding her curiously. "I don't understand, Holland."

"What else happened, Mom?" And when Belle fixed her with a confused frown Holland prompted, "With _Caison_...?"

There was another flicker of confusion before her blue eyes sprang open and Belle breathed, "He was weakened."

Then, to the rest of the confused onlookers, she elaborated, "Caison got weaker when the Shadowbenders were attacked."

Her Dad perked up immediately. "All this time we've been assuming that the Shadowbenders are individual people. But they're not...they're an extension of him. Of Caison."

Clay looked between everyone in utter disbelief. "What the _hell_? How did we just draw this conclusion?"

Belle shot him a fondly exasperated glare as Lydia snorted out a laugh, past Belle and Rumple exchanging amused smiles.

But her - _little_ her - leveled Clay with an accusing stare. "That was a swear word, Clay. Those are bad."

Lydia's snorted laugh became a full out chuckle, head thrown back and all. Both versions of her parents were also laughing, tears gathered at the corners of their eyes. Clay had gone from indignant to beet red, shaking his head.

After everyone was laughed out, Holland explained. "Think about it, the only time that we've seen Caison is when he's alone. During the fight we saw strands of darkness, but no people. The Shadowbenders aren't some army of darkness, they're _Caison_."

Clay nodded, though he didn't look completely convinced. "So what do we do?"

"Weaken his main power points," Belle chimed in. Past Belle, who was currently cradling her younger self. "He has one in front of the shop."

Holland didn't miss the little glance that her past parents sent each other, nor the way that they stepped closer together. "That bad?"

"Not pleasant," past Rumple admitted softly, his fingers squeezing Belle's.

"We'll both go out. Weaken the points that he has and then meet back here," Rumple said, giving... _himself_...a reassuring grin.

This was starting to give Holland a headache.

"Then what?" Clay questioned suddenly, pushing off from the counter and standing straight as a board. "What happens after we weaken his main power points?"

"We destroy him," Belle answered calmly, earning surprised glances from everybody else.

"Aye," Rumple agreed, pulling her closer - an action occurring in sync with their past selves. "We destroy him."


	34. Chapter 34

“What if we lose?” Rumple had been waiting for her to say something in regards to the plan that they'd come up with that afternoon. Sure in the moment she'd been smiling and supportive, but now? Now her eyes were shadowed and haunted, her fear and worry hurting him just as much as it was hurting Belle. His little wife had never looked so worried, so _scared_.

And oh… those four words had absolutely broke his heart, her soft voice trembling over them. There was no reason— _none_ —for Belle to look the way the did right now, white to her quivering lips. She was terrified and Rumple couldn't really blame her. For all that he'd agreed with their plan, it was hard to justify to Belle fighting Casion by himself.

That had taken the combined versions of himself, trying to reason with both versions of Belle. Everyone else would be worrying about the Shadowbenders, Rumple's job was to distract Casion.

Empty promises, words he couldn't guarantee, things he couldn't say, sprang up automatically—the need to comfort her overwhelming. Instead Rumple swallowed them down and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, the feeling of her immediately melting into his side making his heart flutter in his chest. Holding her was all he could do, but not the only comfort he could offer. Belle was always the hopeful one in their relationship, the strong one.

Maybe it was his turn.

“What if we win? What if we destroy Caison and his army of darkness?” He made sure to keep his voice soft and light, not accusing in the slightest. His Belle was shaking in his arms and for all that Rumple relied on her strength, she wasn't invincible. Belle had taken shots—far too many—but she wasn't bulletproof. Often they tore through her but she soldiered on, refusing to turn back. To see her so void of hope was nearly unbearable.

In front of everyone, themselves included, her smile had been radiant, her courage striking up something even in the depths of a coward like him. But the second they'd walked through the doors of their home, she'd deflated like a balloon. And the last thing Rumple wanted to do was see her pop. “Sweetheart, what's the matter?” He knew of course, but maybe talking about it would help her work through some of the pain. Maybe then he could reassure her.

A shaky, choked sob was his answer for a long moment. Rumple wrapped his arms tighter around her and maneuvered them more comfortably on their bed, settling her in between his legs so that he could wrap himself around her as much as possible. Her hiccuping sobs gradually subsided as Rumple purposely slowed his breathing, relieved when Belle mimicked him. This much stress couldn't be good for the baby.

“I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose anyone. And Casion—he _knows_ that.” The words were addressed to the comforting darkness of their room, her hand clutching desperately at his thigh, her strength belied by her small size. Rumple allowed the slight sting of her nails to ground him as he carefully considered his response, pressing a long kiss to her shoulder.

“Of course you don't want to lose anyone Belle—“ the hand that had been gripping his leg moved to her stomach, her fingers barely grazing as she fluttered her hand over their son. Rumple swallowed a mouthful of bile at the thought of losing Clay or Holland,  _either_ version of them. “—and I swear no harm will come to our children, or you.” That much he could promise. Casion would have to kill him before he got anywhere near his family. Rumple was sure that the other version of him would agree.

The fluttering stopped cold and Belle slowly turned in his arms, her overly bright eyes boring into his. “Don't you see?” She whispered brokenly, cool hands cupping his cheeks as her forehead pressed to his. “That's exactly what I'm afraid of Rumple. I know that our children and I will be safe, I'm worried about what will happen to _you_.”

_Ah_. As much as he once again longed to reassure her that he would never leave her, the words couldn't be said. Still though, those haunting blue eyes were looking at him so hopelessly and she was so close to him that Rumple could see the shimmering tears that danced in her eyes and there had to be something he could do. “I promise that I will never willingly leave you—“ but that didn't sound right either, did it? Too much like he was trying to keep her against her will, like she was stuck with him as long as he wanted her. Which couldn't be farther from the truth. “—not unless you ask me to.” There. Not perfect, but better.

Belle shook her head slowly, the very tip of her nose brushing his. “Then you're not going anywhere. Ever. I've spent quite enough time away from you for several lifetimes, thank you very much. But I never worried about you leaving me willingly Rumple. Your unwillingly departure is the source of my nightmares.” He swallowed down his useless tears and pulled her closer, pressing a long kiss to her hair. He loved her so much that he ached with it. Of course, that was nothing new.

Tenderly, Rumple caressed her jaw with the pad of his thumbs, exhaling slowly when a single teardrop fell onto her porcelain cheek. “Belle I can't promise that nothing will happen tomorrow. The truth is… I just don't know, sweetheart—“ Rumple coaxed her to lean closer to him, but Belle needed no such encouragement, practically throwing herself into his arms and nuzzling into his neck. “—it's like you said, my love… I've spent plenty of time away from you. I don’t intend to spend anymore.”

She shifted slightly. It was such a small thing that he hardly noticed it, but then her lips came crashing down onto his and she tasted like salt and vanilla and _Belle_ and his own doubts and fears resurfaced in the face of what he had to lose because there was _no way_ he was strong enough to fight this.

The darkness that Casion had planted once nearly killed him, but this time? This time he was going up against Casion himself. There would be no True Loves Kiss to save him. He wouldn't fight as the deal maker nor the pawn shop owner, not the sparkling Dark One nor the snarky and sarcastic landlord.

Just Rumplestiltskin.

As if she could sense his inner distress, Belle kissed him harder. Rumple could feel every inch of her that was pressed tightly against him, her heartbeat hammering just as his own was. Worrying about what might happen tomorrow wouldn't help him tonight. Tonight he had a wife who needed comfort and—should the worst come to pass—Rumple intended to give her a good memory to reflect on. He would not spend what might possibly be their last night together worrying about whether or not it was going to be their last night together.

Belle's tongue slipped into his mouth briefly, coaxing his own into play before darting back into her mouth. Rumple groaned and took the hint, deepening the kiss as he stood up on his knees, the old injury not even sparking in slight discomfort. His train of thought was derailed by the feeling of her legs twining about his hips, her body flush against his own. Tomorrow would change both of their lives forever, one way or another. But tonight… tonight was just for them.

Rumple’s mouth and arms were full of Belle and when she tugged on his hair in a silent request to lie down he was all too happy to comply, feeling the comforting weight of her body resting on top of his. Their kisses were becoming more desperate, the sound of their ragged breathing echoing through the quiet room. Using his hands, Rumple tried to pull Belle closer to him, as close as he possibly could.

“You're going to win,” Belle breathed against his lips. Her own lips were flush and red and swollen from his kisses, but her eyes were bright and clear. “You're stronger than he is.”

“I'm stronger than he is.”

Rumple just hoped that would be enough. 


End file.
